By default, Coast Guard spouses are a tough breed. We are flexible, strong, resourceful, innovative--you get the picture. However, one funny adage that many wives can relate to is "what can go wrong will go wrong". In other words, when the deployment starts so does all the chaos at home. Now, in the past, I have experienced my share of the fun. Once I even flushed my engagement ring down the toilet. Thankfully, my wedding band didn't follow.
Pregnant, and chasing after a toddler, and missing my husband, I was already an emotional wreck. So, it was no surprise that I was torn up about my ring. I just didn't even know how to begin to tell my husband when he would call home from a port call. I was certain that he would be furious with me for my carelessness. Upon telling him (through my tears), he tried to calm me down and says Honey, that's nothing. You should know that I may be going overseas this summer for a 6 month patrol. Yeah, that made me feel SO much better.
I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I also know that I've got a number of deploymets under my belt and that another is just a drop in the bucket. So, it's always a surprise to me when things just don't go swimmingly when I think I'm oh so prepared at the commencement of my spouse's trip.
Here's a brief laundry list to amuse you. Perhaps you have found yourself here, or in a similar state, at one point.
- The flood waters find their way into your basement. You learn quick that mopping and absorbing towels are seriously not the best way to relieve this problem.
- The puppy pees and poops on the floor, even after she did in the yard. Kind of negates the whole "good puppy" she earned outside.
- A toddler decides to start peeing on the floor. You have to get her three new outfits in one day, all before lunch, because she all of a sudden just can't get to the bathroom on time.
- A beautiful gift your beloved gave you as an anniversary present three years ago comes crashing down off the shelf. In the descent, it hits your oldest child on the noggin and smashes to the ground glass shattering everywhere. Enter another curious child with bare feet and new puppy, and you scramble to protect paws and feet.
-The puppy decides to try and eat the baby's thigh. Juicy flesh + sharp teeth + screaming infant=fun. Ok, seriously, it wasn't that bad.
-The mother-in-law decides it's wise to call you every night at the time you put the kids to bed just to see how things are going. Um, hello. Did she not get the memo? Thank goodness for answering machines.
-The children who always want mommy suddenly can't bear to be without daddy and they remind you constantly how much they miss him and would rather he was home.
Are you laughing yet? Can you envision all this excitement?