Sunday, May 16, 2010

Tears - no, no tears

I'm super anxious about this particular move, but that's only because we have so much going on in our lives (outside of the military stuff) between now and our departure date. So much that I should not be blogging. Of course, the man in blue is playing baseball with our son right now, so he's not doing what he should be either. Or is he? I suppose playing with the kids to keep them sane is a key part of happiness this PCS season too. After all, I can't box them up and keep them quiet, can I?

My family and friends in this area are anxious too. Actually, from what I learned the other day, some (many) tears have been shed. Um, trying to ignore that. It's hard to do, but unfortunately, to avoid a meltdown myself, I have to remain stoic and laugh whenever possible. I have had totally enough stress this week (too much to even blog about) and don't need anymore - just yet anyway. My sister who lives about an hour from me was telling me how hard this all is on her and my mom.


This is not the first time I've moved. It's not the first military move either. However, it's the farthest away from THEM. And, to top it off, my sister doesn't fly and my mother has no desire to do so anymore. Dad, well he's ok with it, but work often precludes him from taking time off. The rest of the family? Well, they say they'll visit, but I won't hold my breath. They never did before. And, I'm ok with that. It's reality. I know it's reality for many of you too. Everyone gets excited about your next duty station and swears they will visit and maps out the really cool places to go and then....and then.....and then you are PCSing again and they never visited. Same old story.

People always want you to come "back home". For us military folk, home is mobile. No, not Bama for the collective audience, but it's mobile as in transient. We move a lot. *cue sad Miranda Lambert song* I'm such a contradiction, I know. Go with it.

So, "back home"  isn't always something we all have. Sometimes it's nothing we want. Other times, it's something we know we'll get back to after that golden twilight tour--maybe. Why can't "home" come to us? The home that is our family/friends anyway? They can see life from our new vantage point? Walk a mile or a minute in our shoes - check out the local flavors we are experiencing.

Alright, so many times finances are an issue. BUT, they are for us too. We don't have the financial means (usually) to travel back and forth between "temporary military home" and "back home". Even if we did, we have so little time in one area - really - 2- 4 years, that why travel "back home". Oftentimes, our spouses are working crazy hours or underway that the little time he or she is home, we'd just rather spend it together - not traveling.

Watch out for that slipper, sudsy stuff on my soapbox and the vicinity thereof.

Stepping down now.

So, I don't have time for tears right now. I need all the strength I can muster to forge through this crazy season and keep the kids reminded that this is normal for us. They don't have to see sadness surrounding this. And, I apologize if I can't console you friends and family when this is so hard on you. I really just can't. I hope you know that it's because this is life. It's good. It's all good.


Amber said...

Literally I had some of the same thoughts about travel yesterday evening. I was thinking of it through different eyes, though. I am loving the new change of scenery for my family (which includes me, the husband and kids), and I just wish that my back-home family members were willing to come share the excitement of a new location with us. Sadly since ALL of my family, with the exception of 1 aunt, including in-laws, live in the same town of 10,000 people, hoping for them to visit us is a pipe dream. Heck, even when we were in Mobile, we rarely got visits, though we made trips in.

I think that it is hard for everyone when you've been in one place for so long. It's hard for you to stay excited and be excited about the adventure that lies ahead when everyone is so sad back "home." People back "home" are regretting not taking advantage of having you so nearby, and in many instances will be waiting for you to come back, or call, or mail a card, but always waiting for you to make the first move.

My trick is to make sure my family is happy and thriving. All the back "home" family knows I have extended an open invitation, and it's up to them to accept it. I'd rather share the amazing adventure I'm on here than go back to the drama of "home."

Whoops...Your soap box IS slippery! ;) Sorry 'bout that. Do you provide work comp? I think I sprained my ankle...

April in CT said...

It's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Often times the guilt of not visiting "home" and family more often really gets to me. Being in CT is the farthest we've lived, but did anyone come visit us when we only lived 4 hours away our first 8 years in? Now they say they should have come more, but it's too late for that. So yearly we make a 2 week trek back to GA to try and visit everyone. It's not even enjoyable there is so much driving involved and rushing through visits. I really, really wish they'd come see the beauty and different landscape in CT.

We'll be moving next year around this time so reading your posts has it on my mind already. Sorry family, but next year you'll just have to miss seeing us unless you come to us. The added stress on top of getting prepared to move (which I'm already doing!), who needs it? I hate to feel so bitter about it, but why are we the ones always expected to come to them. I'd love to have family in our home and share with them where we live. :o)