Now, I don't know if I am alone in this assessment, but I firmly believe the night before an impending separation is the shortest night ever and the of day the longest. From the first deployment I've been through with my husband, I've always busied myself with things to help that first day pass more quickly. Of course, my habit has always also been to entertain a little shopping therapy. ;)
Somehow on day one, my house is suddenly so clean you could eat off the floor. I have purchased items that I don't really need at a store that I didn't need to go to. I've talked on the phone to my mother about 10 times with nothing really to discuss, and the kids have asked about 1,000 times, each, how long daddy would be gone. The first day is always the toughest, but routine in many ways.
I can't be the only one who gets this sudden burst of "must do everything today" energy. I know, lots of wives want to crawl back into bed and wish the day away. I don't have that option with little kids running around. Instead, I just wish it away by washing away (the dishes, the laundry, the floors, the dog, you name it).
I try not to be a hypocrite. I am typically the one telling people It's going to be ok, or, Don't sweat, you can do this. He'll be home before you know it. And, I'm also very independent. I do enjoy time to myself and know that the time apart is temporary. Deep down though, I feel a little different. Not all the time, but the feelings are there, nonetheless. I'm just a girl, missing her sailor. I can put on a brave face, and I can pretend everything is hunky-dory.
Still, the women who are in my shoes and who have been in my shoes know the truth. We are strong and can do it all alone, but the reality is, it's so much better when they are home with us.