Independence Day is Upon Us

and I reflect on a memorable July 4th...

My family and I spent the Fourth of July in Boston last summer. It was truly spectacular. Not only was it exciting to watch the turnaround of the USS Constitution, but electrifying too was the spirit in the air. I was high on the patriotism. Alright, that may sound a little quixotic and on the brink of writing something akin to the Defence of Fort McHenry. Nonetheless, Francis Scott Key had it right, what a feeling to see that flag flying high. What an impressive demonstration to have allegiance pledged even in this day and age throughout our land to our National Ensign. Despite expressions of distress in North Carolina and Wisconsin reported in the news, concerning the claims of right to fly the flag upside down (see Title 36, U.S.C., Chapter 10 as amended by P.L. 344, 94th Congress), I was still filled with patriotism well after celebrating our Independence Day.

To spare you a history lesson, and so as not to bore you with news of upside down flags, I will share with you something I learned on that Fourth of July. I learned that through the eyes of a child there is amazing beauty in something as simple as a flag—something I often take for granted. It is that same something, that in my teen years, I took a rebellious standpoint against one day to say I did not have to pledge to anything to be considered a patriot—something that in later years took an oath before to serve my country. Something that is really more than just some thing, it is the embodiment of a Nation in one iconic symbol to which we can all relate.

The older two, my girls, remarked (all day long) with excitement every time they saw the flag, literally—think girly high pitched squeals of happiness. My oldest proudly recites the Pledge of Allegiance any chance she gets. Perhaps it is their pride in recognizing it and knowing something about, but it still makes me smile.

After a day about the city, we trekked down to the Esplanade to watch the famous evening performance of the Boston Pops and enjoy the fireworks illuminate sky. Of course, because everyone on the planet had the same idea as us, and we stayed in other parts of the city touring too long, we did not get that close to the Hatch Shell. Rather, we found a tiny square with thousands of our closest friends, errrr, um, strangers, abutting us on the banks of the Charles River. It did not matter though, it was all worth it. The show was breathtaking, best fireworks I had ever seen; beautiful music that had the crowd singing and smiling. I have not had that much fun on the Fourth of July for as long as I can remember. It was truly a memorable night.

After the long day and terrific evening, we walked all the way from our tiny spot on the Charles to the USCG base in the North End of Boston—both my husband and I each pushing a stroller and he also carrying one of the kids on his back in our Kelty carrier. We had such a great time, and the kids are still talking about it weeks later. It is days like that when realize how much I love Boston and our country, and more importantly, spending time with my family.

On this day of observance for Memorial Day...

and every day, we at Waiting for Ships remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. We personally remember our own loved ones, as well as the Coast Guardsmen who have died in the line of duty, and we also honor the memory of fallen servicemembers from all of our Nation's Armed Forces.

Soldier, rest!

Thy warfare o'er,

Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking,

Dream of battled fields no more.

Days of danger, nights of waking.

-Sir Walter Scott

Let's Settle a Wedding Attire Debate- What's right about the whites?

One of our lovely readers sent me a message today!

The question is all about a uniform on a wedding day. I wanted to share with you all since we all have different opinions and it might be helpful to our reader.

Reader said: My daughter who is marrying a Coastie in August 2010. The groom will be an O-3 with 2-3 groomsmen being fellow officers. He wants to wear dress whites, but this is interfering with the dress selections my daughter is focusing on (they are shades of white and just don't look good with the CG whites). Would dress blues be appropriate here? Is there an appropriate uniform selection here? What about the groomsmen? The ceremony is early afternoon and the reception is 6-10pm. My daughter and her fiance attended the All Academy Ball in Chicago in December 2007 and we thought that he looked pretty good in a formal blue uniform.

Dear Reader:

First, let me say congratulations to your daughter and your family. What a momentous occasion to be celebrating. I remember fondly the planning stages of my own wedding. Of course, I remember the bickering, petty squabbles and silliness too.

Second, let me state that a wedding is really about the union of two people. Really, in the grand scheme of things, that is the most important thing. You already knew that though. Of course, it's hard not to get caught up in the little things when you are planning perhaps the biggest day of your daughters life.

Surely right now people are screaming at me through their computer screens. It's all about the dress! or It's her wedding, let her decide!

I say, it's the groom's day too! Let him wear his whites. Dress blues in the summertime, yikes! Unless they are getting married inside in Air Conditioning or in the Antarctic, I REALLY emphasize the whites. The bride and groom will look beautiful.

I say forget the blue and stick with the whites. The bride and groom don't have to be matchy-matchy. No one will be gossiping about what did or did not clash. If they do, ignore them and tell them to get over it.

Good luck to the happy couple in whatever attire they decide. I am sure my fellow bloggers will pipe in soon with their thoughts on the matter as well. So be sure to read the comments here.

Thanks for reading!

Happy New Year!

With each year that passes comes memories to cherish and some to forget. I imagine many Coast Guard families are eagerly looking toward what the new year will bring. Many await orders, advancements and boards while others are thrilled with an increase of BAH and possibly COLA. Some delight about and others frown upon the new uniforms coming down the pike and others are giddy with excitement about possible new rates on the horizon.

Personally, this year has been a joyous one for me. Sure there have been low points, but like any part-time optimist, I like to focus on the highs. Late last year, a friend/colleague and I began discussing a project that could benefit the Coast Guard family community. With some effort, the project developed into something very promising in January 2008 and with the help of some talented spouses the project will become so much more in the months and years to come. We are finding ways to support Coast Guard spouses and their families and are inspired by one another to keep growing. Of course, that project would have been nothing but a blip on the radar screen if it wasn’t for the Waiting for Ships blog.

One Big Coastie Family (aka Waiting for Ships) came to fruition this past February. I cannot express my thanks enough to the amazing contributors to this blog. I appreciate each and every one of you! I have been far too absent in posting since I returned to the daily grind and these ladies have kept this little ship afloat with their anecdotes and messages. Many folks have contacted us over the past months to extend their thanks for our blog and connect with their own experiences and that warms my heart.

As this year comes to a close, I wish you and yours a wonderful and prosperous 2009. I am grateful to have my husband by my side this year as there have been many years that he’s been away at sea on this momentous night. If you are as fortunate, hug your loved one close and if you are not, thank you for keeping the home fires burning. I raise my glass to you!

With solemn hearts, we have said fair winds and following seas to many members of this Coast Guard family in 2008. Unexpected tragedies as well as deaths as a result of illness touched many of our lives. The list is long from active and reserve Coasties, to retired Coast Guard personnel to spouses and children. Our sympathies continue to be with the families and friends of all those who have passed on this year.

In closing and in the nautical spirit, I’d like to borrow from the English translation of Scotsman Robert Burn’s poem “Auld Lang Syne”:

We two have paddled in the stream,from morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roaredsince auld lang syne.

Source.

Salut!

The underground super secret network of spouses.

Outside of the base, live Coast Guard members and their families. Some are integrated into the local military community and others choose not to be for a variety of reasons. We used to be those people. Well, in a way, we still are. My husband, the man in blue, (for whom I still need a catchy nickname) is adamant about keeping our family life and the military separate. That was really easy when he was on land. It was also really easy when I had my own crazy workaholic hours at a job in the private sector. It was also extremely easy when we had no children.

Then one day, I became a mother and I started to work from home. Soon the working from home dwindled down and my days ached to be filled with something. I longed for involvement in something other than diaper duty and grocery shopping. So, I started talking to *gasp* other Coast Guard wives. I would meet them on the pier when the ship pulled in or I would connect with them through some other underground super secret network that would send my husband into a tizzy. Yes, my friends, he detested the wives groups. In fact, he refused to tell people he was married for fear that the wives network would swoop in like vultures and snatch me into their secret society. Okay, so that is not at all true, but if you met the man in blue back then, you would totally appreciate what I am talking about. Fast forward to today. I am a little more than involved. I am integrated. I have a vested interested in the sometimes seemingly unpopular spouse sect. I pledge my allegiance to the sisterhood affirming that I am not a slovenly gossipmonger or mindless follower. Honest. Enough about what I am not, let me tell you what I am.

I have a passion for all things military. I become engrossed with military history, tradition and legacy. I am the person in the grocery store parking lot who sees a USCG or DOD decal on a car and hope I will run into the owner. Don’t ask me why. On second thought, go ahead. The reason is, as I have said before, we are so far out of the military area. So, such cars and decals are far and few between. Alright, so I might be considered a decal stalker. Seriously, I am only a little fanatical. I love my husband. Obviously, I would love him no matter what his profession, but I love that he chose to join the service and despite his original intentions of getting out, he reenlisted and reenlisted, and, well you get the point. I like military brats. They each have their own unique travel story to tell. Olive Oyl’s kids, as some of our other families here, are a great example of this as they have been all over the map. What kid really gets to experience such different cultures, climates and touristy destinations all before age 18? Not too many in this day and age. That is the beauty of the military; we are nomadic, well most of us anyway. That to me is enthralling and keeps me eager for each new PCS season. With each new place comes new faces. New experiences abound and new chances.

The other day, our family journeyed to a nearby town (way out in the sticks) where another Coast Guard family lived. They are even further out then us and have little if anything to do with the husband’s shipmates, the base and/or other families. The wife, who was a boatload of fun and someone I’d really like to hang out with more, asked me about my involvement in the “life” around here. I chuckled and told her I was bit embarrassed to share. Upon telling her the things I did and people I knew, she laughed and said her husband might lose his mind if that were her. Overhearing our conversation, my husband urged, no, begged me not to try and recruit her into the network. I assured him AND her husband that I was just answering her questions. Sheesh. You would think I got a commission or something and they were the regulatory board making sure I did not solicit off limit spouses.

Anyway, the wife mentioned how she had gotten to know a bunch of military spouses (from all branches) at a previous unit. She did not like the fact that rank was an issue for many. Can you blame her? Nonetheless, I hear this time and again from spouses and members. This is just pure silliness.

So that I don’t go on and on in a rant about how spouses have no rank, I will leave you with this: If you are a spouse who has been burned by other groups, fear not. We are not all nuts. I am, but just a wee little bit. Give your new area a chance. Get to know some new faces. All spouse groups, families and members are not the same. And, for the husbands who are on their knees pleading with their wives to ‘stay out of it’, please know it’s not all about you and getting in your business. Honestly, we just like hanging out and commiserating with like-minded folk.

Happy 218th Birthday to the United States Coast Guard!

May you all have a wonderful day and thank you to our Coast Guard men and women serving around the world and the families and spouses that support them.

Oh, and I shared the following at another blog to which I contribut. I figured you all might appreciate it too. The readership over there is primarily Navy, Marines and a bit of Army, but I had to shout out the birthday wish and share some tidbits on this great service we all know and love.

Happy 218th Birthday Wishes

at My Crazy Amazing Military Life blog

In January of 1915, 93 years ago, the Coast Guard was named a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces. Specifically, Title 14 of the United States Code (U.S.C.) details the matter.
Did you know that the Coast Guard has been involved in every major war that the United States has been a part of since the Civil War, which actually predates the 1915 establishment in the U.S.C. It is, in fact, our Nation’s oldest and continuous sea-going service.

To read more history on the Coast Guard office, you can visit the CG Historian’s page on the official site for the USCG.

For Coast Guard trivia, be sure to visit the Coast Guard Channel’s trivia page.

Just want to find out more about the Coast Guard in general, then visit GoCoastGuard.com.

And, finally, I’ll share this fitting prayer I found on Chaplaincare.navy.mil:

A Prayer for Coast Guard Day

God, we thank you for this special day. It is our Birthday. It is a day to rest from our daily labor. It is a day to share our daily bread with each other. It is a day to challenge each other to a different kind of excellence. May we be refreshed today – in body and soul. May we be renewed today – in mind and spirit. May we be re-dedicated today – in word and deed. Lord, in everything we do, may we please you, may we be all that we can be and may we do for those whom we help what we would like them to do for us.

AMEN

Military Artwork

To many, it's a lovely sight to see in the home of a proud sailor. The artwork that celebrates their service.

No, I'm not talking about breathtaking paintings or sketches that might adorn the walls of a museum. Rather, I'm referring to simple black text on a white or manila colored piece of paper. Of course, some people might jazz up their wallscape by throwing in the super colorful fun ones like Order of the Spanish Main, Order of the Rock, Order of Magellan or any other ceremonious certificate.

Many of you know what I'm talking about. It's the famed "I Love Me Wall". I will say this, evidence of my husband's travels, achievements and escapades are relatively new to my home. He has always been adamant that we will not exhibit that stuff in his home. Maybe he's humble. Perhaps he's sick of seeing military stuff. Who knows. For me, I say paint the walls with your accomplishments honey. Go hog wild!

He's begrudgingly tolerated me hanging a few things over the past couple of years. So, long as it's not in-your-face, he's been okay with it. I can appreciate that. Still, I have some fairly bare walls and since we have ample paperwork from the Coast Guard, I figure why not pretty up the space a bit. Heck, he's not home enough to look at it. He can deal, right?

As I've said before, my husband's grandparents hold most of his awards and documents. They have proudly displayed them from the get-go. It's just the way, it's been and he has liked it that way. Still, I'd really love for the old stuff to make it's way to my house (some day). I know they are proud and all, but so am I. Alright, maybe that's a tad selfish of me. After all, we've never displayed this stuff much in the past, and it's usually difficult to tell that we are a military family by our decor. We are your average, run-of-the mill family with a mix of contemporary and traditional tastes. Nothing too fancy and nothing too patriotic. That's changing though. I've even started making nautical (CG related) crafts. Sheesh--what's become of me?

At any rate, isn't it funny how so many of us have our walls covered in certificates and commendations that to your average citizen might just go in a file drawer somewhere? I'm curious to know your thoughts on this: Is it art? Is it narcissism or pride overkill? What does your home look like? Where do those pretty certificates and praise papers reside?

Pomp and Ceremony

I admit it, I'm a sucker for military pomp and ceremony. Everything from the neatly lined rows of folding chairs to the long-winded speeches turns me on. Add in rows of coasties standing at attention in dress uniform and my toes are curling in my sensible pumps. For me, events like award ceremonies, change of command, retirement events are the reward for all the mundane, not so titillating sides of this life. I put up with clothes that smell like diesel fuel and middle of the night phone calls just for such events.

Today I get to gussy up and play military wife at just such an event. This means I had an excuse to go through my closet and 2 large wardrobe boxes in the garage I hadn't unpacked since the last move. It means I have an excuse to break out the curling iron and the (nearly nude) lipstick. It means I get to go through town and feel just a little more privileged than normal because well.... I get to go to this special event that binds my little community in a way the larger civilian community won't ever understand. Most of all, it means I get to see my husband lit up like a Christmas tree in his uniform finery and that image will carry me through the rest of the summer's fantasies.

As fun as the trappings are, the underlying meaning and tradition of such events isn't lost on me either. To be a part of some bigger picture, the lineage of honor and respect, is at the core of the lump that sometimes comes to my throat. For over 230 years the remnants and descendants of George Washington's standing army and Alexander Hamilton's Revenue Cutter Service march on to a call to sacrifice for the greater good... and events like these, such sacrifice is acknowledged and celebrated, and sometimes mourned.

I have had a few spouses over the years ask if it is appropriate or even worth attending such events. For those not raised in homes of military tradition I can understand the hesitance. Are such events really meant for family members or are they primarily meant for active duty members? My heartfelt answer is "go!". You're missing out on one of the best parts of military life if you don't get to attend events like this. These most certainly are designed with both the member and the family in mind. Our coasties dress up and stand proud, and we honor them just by attending. We don't leave empty handed either, we get to curl our toes because who doesn't love to gaze at a man in uniform!