Friday, January 1, 2010

How many months and counting?

Happy New Year and prosperous tidings to you all!

Now, that I've gotten that out of the way, figuratively speaking, I'm freaking out!

Surely, I'm not the only spouse in a downright frenzy over the impending season of change. A friend wrote today of her excitement for what this year was to bring. For that, she is right. Excitement, but elation? I'm not quite sure at this juncture.

Our quaint home marketed to the masses, sits, unmoved. I’m determined to remain confident that it will sell. Of course, my stress level is heightened not only by the stagnant housing market, but also because I’m trying to find not-so-crummy-affordable-housing clear across the country. We live modestly, but I do have standards. I trust that something good will come our way.

My mother, bless her heart, suggested perhaps the children and I stay behind if we are “stuck”. While we have entertained that notion, GEO-baching just isn’t super appealing right now. Still, Semper Gumby will prevail in odd occasions and will allow that to happen if there are no other options.

There are always options. We could live in a tent. Camping is amusing. It definitely would meet the “excitement” criteria. The man in blue would be underway largely for our tour in the new locale, so one adult and three youngins’ to a tent is manageable and MAD! Alright, that’s out.

Shacking up with someone else. Oh, I don’t think I could impose. They’d have us out on our mooching backsides within a week no doubt, even if it were family, who will be within a couple of hours of the new location. Besides, sharing my home with another adult outside of my husband is something that has been long forgotten. Roommates are just not my thing. I’m far too headstrong to change my personal living habits and intolerant of others' laziness. Moreover, I appreciate and respect my friends too much to subject them to my irrationality daily. After all, we’d probably not be friends before long.

Oh and schools! We cannot even begin to look at schools until we have an inkling of where we will closet our clothing and park the cars. No matter though, my eldest announced last week she’d like me to homeschool her. Hmmmm. Yes, there are significant appealing aspects of that and I have contemplated it considerably. Still, the man in blue made an excellent point about her and her sister having the distraction of a school setting while he’s deployed. Sometimes he knows a thing or two. What about me though, me and the little one who’s not in school yet. We’ll be home. Alone. Together. Eeep! Yes, the man in blue also suggested that perhaps, just maybe, I don’t work for this next tour.

I just reclaimed my career a little over a year ago. I don’t know what to think. Emotions are swirling around my head and heart on this piece. I unquestionably wouldn’t be bored, so that’s not why I hesitate on this matter. I have more than enough to fill my day. Though, it’s the luxuries we have become accustomed to with my paycheck filling the home coffers. We eat out when we want. We go on dates. I buy pretty unmentionables. I take my kids to the movies when I want. Without me working those things will temporarily fall by the wayside. I know, I know, it’s all temporary. Heck, I say that all the time. Why can’t I get myself to feel okay with it thought?

I think what I need to do is center myself. A return to simpler things will likely be the next step to make this PCS manageable and happy for all of us. I guess I would need the pretty unmentionables, if the man in blue is underway anyhow, but my kids do need my attention and love. That should be enough to help center me for the next few years. To my neighbors, whoever you may end up being, I may need a sitter for a few minutes here and there for my sanity and bring over a pitcher of cocktails on move-in day, will ya?


(A Little) Gris Gris said...

Oh yes! Here we are waiting for orders...we THINK there is only one place for us to go, but you never know! And, what the heck do we do with the house? I might just turn to the Magic 8 Ball this year since I don't expect answers from any other authority any time soon.

Lainy said...

You can come camp with us! ugh, this transfer season has me wrapped up in knots and I KNOW where I'm going to live.