Coast Guard families

Coast Guard families have a lot on their plate. Whether you are a couple without children or a family of 10, you know what I am talking about. All too often, Coast Guard families feel as though they are the forgotten ones—the branch that supposedly is not really “military”. You and I know that could not be further from the truth. The United States Coast Guard is in fact a military service and is one of the five branches of the US Armed Forces.

In 1915, the deal was sealed, even though the Coast Guard had been around for a long, long time before that. That is neither here nor there though because some naysayers will continue to disagree with you. Well, show them this and tell them to stick it in their hat: Coast Guard Authorization Act 

If you don’t feel like reading the White House release, know this, that on October 15, 2010, President Obama stated “[t]oday I have signed into law H.R. 3619, the Coast Guard Authorization Act of 2010. This Act strengthens the Coast Guard as a military service and branch of the Armed Forces in the Department of Homeland Security by providing organizational flexibility for the Coast Guard and allowing for improvements to its military housing. Additionally, the Act materially enhances the marine safety and maritime security missions of the Coast Guard, and it includes language to implement the International Convention on the Control of Harmful Anti-Fouling Systems on Ships, 2001.”

There you have it folks, a reiteration of the Coast Guard being a military service.

Know this too: Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. (CGFO) is working hard to get more recognition and programs for Coast Guard families. However, they cannot do it without your feedback. Write them, and also write your Congress reps, and keep yourself informed and be proactive. There are always going to be uninformed people, but we know you are working hard day to day and enduring your own sacrifices and trials just as the millions of other military families throughout the world. So, keep on keepin’ on and give a shout out to CGFO and let them know your needs and thoughts. You have a voice--let it be heard! Write CGFO at admin@coastguardfamily.org

Helping those in need in our Coast Guard community.

Sometimes we want to help. We want to get right out there and lend a hand, often not even knowing the details of a situation. That is commendable, in most cases, but a word of caution, get the facts, if you can before jumping the gun. Your efforts will likely be appreciated so long as they are directed in the right way.

Recently, the man in blue had a coworker experience a personal problem. Well, it's more than a personal problem, it was a regional problem that personally affected him. As it turns out, this particular Coastie lost all of his worldly belongings due to forces of Mother Nature recently. The floods came and demolished his home, along with many of his neighbors and a number of other area residents. We got the call. We felt awful. What could we do? How could we help?

We had to wait. It only made sense. He needed to deal with the matter at hand in a fashion that made sense. Insurance adjusters, FEMA and other appropriate personnel had to do their respective parts. The dust has settled a bit and the guy was ready for help.

In droves they came, my husband and the other men in blue. From what I hear, they gutted the residence, throwing out things that one would treasure and cherish--personal belongings water logged and destroyed. The property is a complete loss. It's truly heart wrenching. Thanks to the efforts of many dedicated Coasties who are not only his coworkers but also his friend, this guy can work towards rebuilding.

There is more help that will be needed (we expect), but we will wait and when the time is right and we know how to appropriate to direct our assistance. We will be there. That's what we do for our family right? We pitch in when we get the call. It's hard to be patient, but sometimes it's best to just wait for the person in need to say, "Yes, I need you now."

How many months and counting?

Happy New Year and prosperous tidings to you all!

Now, that I've gotten that out of the way, figuratively speaking, I'm freaking out!

Surely, I'm not the only spouse in a downright frenzy over the impending season of change. A friend wrote today of her excitement for what this year was to bring. For that, she is right. Excitement, but elation? I'm not quite sure at this juncture.

Our quaint home marketed to the masses, sits, unmoved. I’m determined to remain confident that it will sell. Of course, my stress level is heightened not only by the stagnant housing market, but also because I’m trying to find not-so-crummy-affordable-housing clear across the country. We live modestly, but I do have standards. I trust that something good will come our way.

My mother, bless her heart, suggested perhaps the children and I stay behind if we are “stuck”. While we have entertained that notion, GEO-baching just isn’t super appealing right now. Still, Semper Gumby will prevail in odd occasions and will allow that to happen if there are no other options.

There are always options. We could live in a tent. Camping is amusing. It definitely would meet the “excitement” criteria. The man in blue would be underway largely for our tour in the new locale, so one adult and three youngins’ to a tent is manageable and MAD! Alright, that’s out.

Shacking up with someone else. Oh, I don’t think I could impose. They’d have us out on our mooching backsides within a week no doubt, even if it were family, who will be within a couple of hours of the new location. Besides, sharing my home with another adult outside of my husband is something that has been long forgotten. Roommates are just not my thing. I’m far too headstrong to change my personal living habits and intolerant of others' laziness. Moreover, I appreciate and respect my friends too much to subject them to my irrationality daily. After all, we’d probably not be friends before long.

Oh and schools! We cannot even begin to look at schools until we have an inkling of where we will closet our clothing and park the cars. No matter though, my eldest announced last week she’d like me to homeschool her. Hmmmm. Yes, there are significant appealing aspects of that and I have contemplated it considerably. Still, the man in blue made an excellent point about her and her sister having the distraction of a school setting while he’s deployed. Sometimes he knows a thing or two. What about me though, me and the little one who’s not in school yet. We’ll be home. Alone. Together. Eeep! Yes, the man in blue also suggested that perhaps, just maybe, I don’t work for this next tour.

I just reclaimed my career a little over a year ago. I don’t know what to think. Emotions are swirling around my head and heart on this piece. I unquestionably wouldn’t be bored, so that’s not why I hesitate on this matter. I have more than enough to fill my day. Though, it’s the luxuries we have become accustomed to with my paycheck filling the home coffers. We eat out when we want. We go on dates. I buy pretty unmentionables. I take my kids to the movies when I want. Without me working those things will temporarily fall by the wayside. I know, I know, it’s all temporary. Heck, I say that all the time. Why can’t I get myself to feel okay with it thought?

I think what I need to do is center myself. A return to simpler things will likely be the next step to make this PCS manageable and happy for all of us. I guess I would need the pretty unmentionables, if the man in blue is underway anyhow, but my kids do need my attention and love. That should be enough to help center me for the next few years. To my neighbors, whoever you may end up being, I may need a sitter for a few minutes here and there for my sanity and bring over a pitcher of cocktails on move-in day, will ya?

Thanksgiving

We are about to kick off the holiday season. Now many of you out there reading may not celebrate, and I appreciate that. We all have different beliefs and ways of living, and I respect that. Still, even if you do not celebrate religious holidays, traditional American holidays or even any old day at all, there might be something in your life for which you are thankful, and I'm sure you recognize it in a way that's appropriate for you.

For those of you donning kitchen aprons, whipping up pies and hearing your little ones practice their lines for their school's Thanksgiving day play, I do wish you happiness this week as you consider the blessings in your life. Many of you may be celebrating Thanksgiving far away from your loved ones. Many spouses are deployed. Still, that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice. Sure, it can be difficult to get in the spirit of celebrating when you are feeling melancholy, but don't.

I have been there. And, I know I'll be there again. This year, I expect will be my last Thanksgiving Day with my family for a few years. So, I'm going to try and make the most of it and enjoy every last second, from the stuffing to the bickering and even the cleaning up of dishes after a meal. That's the stuff memories are made of; well that and a whole lot more.

I can remember one year in recent memory that my husband was gone for every stinkin' holiday, even beyond the 'holiday season'. It all started with Thanksgiving. We celebrated early and even put the Christmas tree up that day to so he could partake in those festivities. It did feel a bit rushed, but it meant a lot, to both of us. He still felt a little bit a part of the season, even though he would be gone all the way past New Year's; heck, I believe it was well into the end of January even. Typical, schedule. Not really surprising; but it was not a whole bunch of fun.

How can you make your Thanksgiving more enjoyable if you are by yourself or it's just you and your little ones? Why, join your friends of course! I can't think of a military family that would turn away people from their Thanksgiving table. Okay, there might be some out there, but who needs them anyway. Their turkey might not be as yummy as the next guy's. So, make it known. Embrace your "aloneness" and accept any invitation that comes your way--even if you aren't particularly close. You may be pleasantly surprised at the friendships you can develop in these situations. You may also be shocked to know how welcoming your peers can be. Heck, many folks love to invite as many people as they can because they truly believe it's the company that makes the holiday and not the meal. People, in general, love to entertain. Allow them to host and entertain you. It'll show them they are needed and give them warm and fuzzy feelings for reaching out and you'll feel better making new connections or firming up old ones.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week, whatever your plans are. Be safe, if you travel, and remember, it's more than the food that makes this a great holiday.

When there are no words...

We pray. We think positive thoughts. We remain respectfully silent. We come together as a Coast Guard community to be there for each other, even if just in spirit when our family members are hurting.

Please keep the family members, friends, and shipmates of the missing crew members of the Coast Guard C-130 and the Marine Corps helicopter crew in mind when praying your intentions or sending positive vibes this week in whatever way you do or believe for our military members.

From CGBlog.org, I've borrowed the following, which was released by the AP:

Coast Guard identifies 9 missing in midair crash
By The Associated Press (AP)

The U.S. Coast Guard has identified nine people feared dead at sea following an air collision between a Coast Guard aircraft and a Marine Corps helicopter.

The missing crew members from the Coast Guard C-130 are all stationed in Sacramento, Calif., where their aircraft was based. You can read over at CGBlog.or for more:
http://www.cgblog.org/2009/10/31/prayer-request-for-the-following-families-and-their-comrades/

Ombudsman Program - Survey seeks your input!

An anonymous survey is currently being conducted through September 18, 2009, seeking to understand how Ombudsmen are being utilized. If you haven't done so already, please take the brief survey and share your experience and thoughts for this program. You may only complete the survey once.

SURVEY

There is nothing so sweet as a reunion between a parent and a child.

Patiently waiting with impatient children, I stood in the crowed and bustling airport the other night, surrounded by many other folks also awaiting the return of their loved ones. Finally, after what seemed an eternity to the kids, we saw the face of one of the man in blue's team walk in the hurried crowd. Focused on getting his attention, thinking my husband must be right behind him, the children and I stared and waved frantically. Of course, much to our surprise, the man in blue had already spotted us and was coming toward us from another direction. Well, when my children saw him, they could not get out of their own way fast enough.

Their faces lit up with brilliance and their feet moved jack rabbit fast. Pummeling him with their little selves, the children enveloped daddy with their welcoming arms. Of course, my younger daughter beat the other two to the punch and wrapped her arms and legs around him as if she had not seen him in a year. It was the best feeling in the world to know to watch this reunion, and I know my husband felt the same.

You see, my younger two children have not had the luxury of cutter deployments. So, they are not seasoned like my oldest daughter. She is pretty understanding of the routine, well as much as a kid can be. She knows that anything can happen and tries to go with the flow. She is a trooper for sure. Our younger children, however have only really known or at least are only old enough to remember the recent trips, which are, on average, shorter than stereotypical CG deployments. My younger daughter was born when my husband was assigned to his last cutter, but she was really too young to have any knowledge of what was going on. Now, though, she is fully aware and has expressed that daddy really should not have to leave. Period.

In a strange way, we know that these shorter trips are a blessing because the man in blue does not have to be gone long, but it also gives the kids a little taste of things yet to come (possibly). Who knows where we will end up next, but we are not ruling anything out.

So, he is home. I slept better the other night than I had the whole time he was gone. What is it about that? I know I am not the only one falling asleep with the television on and lying next to a really big pillow in hopes of providing a false sense of comfort. Of course, also waking periodically through the night (after FINALLY falling asleep) to check the phone, the cell phone and every other noise you hear. Oh, boy, am I glad to have him home.

It is more than that though. We have had such a nice time since he has returned. We even were able to take the kids to the beach yesterday for some fun family time, savoring the last big weekend of the summer. My favorite part of it all was just watching the kids splash in the waves with dad as I inhaled the salty air and felt the sunshine on my body knowing what a lucky woman I am and recognizing wonderful homecomings can be.

A day in the life.

Waaaaahhhhhh!

smack! Wahhhhhh smack! Waaaah. (to myself, why won't this alarm shut off?) Oh, it's a child screaming, no wonder my 'snooze' isn't working.) *

Up and at 'em. It's a weekday morning in the life of a Coastie wife whose man in blue has ventured off for a bit. Wrestling youngin's out to the breakfast table is no easy feat. Heck, convincing them that wearing regular clothes to school in lieu of jammies, is even more trying. Give it a whirl sometime. Okay, maybe it is just my stubborn rugrats.

After a great deal of breakfast debates (despite my carefully planned out menu) and the rush to brush (teeth and hair), the clown car begins. All of us hustle out the door, lunch bags (check), backpacks (check), mom's purse (check), child 1, child 2, baby.....uh, where's the baby. Ah, yes, standing in the front lawn insisting to play with his lawnmower whilst you shush him (so he doesn't wake the neighborhood) and cajole him into the car.

Ah, the car. It's a beautiful hint of paradise on wheels. For, my friends, it is the minivan (cue heavenly chimes). I know, you envy me. I would too. With it's sprinkling of left over french fries embedded underneath the car seat you just cleaned and the speeding ticket you have to send in, the beauty on wheels is luxurious accommodations for any proud parent. Just enough headroom and enough room in the back that when the kids decide to chuck something at my head they can barely reach because they are not that good of a shot. *sigh* the joys of parenthood.

Calming them down from the frenzy of the out-the-door rush, we enjoy some happening kid tunes or some soothing tropical beats (thanks to Kenny Chesney), but that's more for me. :) They do their best to sing along until someone shouts Mom, she's singing too loud, I can't hear myself. Sweet, isn't it? Thankfully, the ride to school is but a mere five minutes.

Pop open the luxury van doors zoom, and scurry into the school dropping off paperwork, bags and children. Can't forget the children. 'Course they might be a hoot at the office. I'm sure they'd love to stir up some trouble there.

Back in the car--just me and Kenny. Down the highway, into morning bliss (eerrrrr....traffic). Commuters are so pleasant sometimes, aren't they? They really can brighten up your morning with the angst and crazy driving. Henry Ford must be rolling over in his grave with the sport and leisure of driving disgraced as it often is these days. In any event, I'm no angel, I'll admit, and I even have been known to pick up the phone when driving. Yikes!

Speaking of the phone while driving. Oftentimes, in port elsewhere or even at the base he's stationed at, the man in blue will often call me about this time of the morning.

Good morning beautiful, how's your morning? How were the kids?

Silly man. He gets the same story every day, yet, I humor him and tell just about the same story. You think somewhere along the way, I'd figure out how to cultivate a sense of a calm. I guess it's just not my nature.

We chat for a bit and then down the highway I continue, now full steam ahead. And, he continues on with his peaceful morning, that has been consistently childless (except of course, if he's dealing with...never mind).

Work = vacation

Alright, perhaps that is a bit drastic. Still, sometimes, it's my refuge. The place where I return to adulthood and recharge only to have demands put upon me by older individuals, well older than my children anyway. Somewhere, wherever he may be, my man in blue is still enjoying his childless day, probably without a worry in his head. See, I'm a worrier, I worry all day about him, the kids, what's for dinner, can I fit a workout in tonight, what to blog about (not really), and so much more.

The day ends. At this point, while the man in blue is away, I have to leave work early to be able to pick up the kids from preschool/after school care in time. See, normally, leaving early would be desirable, but there is nothing I hate more than rushing. After all, that is how my day starts. I hate when it ends like that. So, I zoom back up the highway. I arrive to screaming, wild and over stimulated children who are starving for dinner, which baffles me as they eat non-stop all day practically.

Dinner is pretty much a repeat of breakfast. We hope to hear from the man in blue and if we are lucky even get to video chat with him, depending on where he is. Still, sometimes this almost makes matters worse. As the night wears on and weary children grow sleepy, they start to miss daddy even more. An excuse to stay up? A serious missing of him? It's hard to tell. Once they are settled in bed, typically a hour after they were all first sent to bed, I scurry to get everything done, the bills, the cleaning, getting the clothes and lunches ready for morning. Last night I didn't sit down (literally) until 10:30 p.m. I even ate dinner standing while trying to do the laundry at the same time. I am super-stupid mom alright. Multi-tasking is such a ridiculous sport sometimes, but hey, I'm a glutton for punishment.

FINALLY.......after hours of non-stop everything, I hit the shower and then the rack. I say rack, because well the bed sometimes feels as uncomfortable as that when the man in blue is away. You know how you just can't quite get comfortable. You toss and turn and hear every little noise. Yeah, it's something like that. And, then, (barring any night terrors or other incidents during the night) we sleep and get up and do it all over again. That is if get any sleep, again. You think being as exhausted as I am I would just crash. You know how that goes though.

See, life does go on, when my Coastie's away, it's just in fast forward mode, trying to be both parents at once and saving the world one diaper, gummy snack and sheet of homework at a time.
So, honey if you are reading this, I might miss you a little bit. Oh, and rumor has it some shopping lists are out, come on home so we can chat about it and plan my 3-4 yr vacation in some tropical location. The kids can stay with family. ;)

And, if the rest of you folks are still reading this, you are nuts. :) Of course, maybe you can relate. Can you?

-----

*Disclaimer: No, I wasn't smacking a child. It was the alarm clock my dears.

The ship is in.

And, soon my man in blue flies to it. So, soon I will be awaiting his plane to come in some time around next....ah, you thought I was going to divulge that information.

Last night we had the perfect date night. Nothing says happily wedded bliss like a gift card for a fine dinner and a trusted babysitter to watch over the young ones. Our dinner was an early one. Think senior citizen early. The restaurant was posh beyond my wildest expectations--very 1930's swanky. The menu prices did shock me, but again, we had the gift certificate, which is so very appreciated. After all, when you are making an effort to feed and clothe a family of five a night out is to dinner and a movie is often a luxury we do not afford ourselves. Over the past year though, we have been making more of an attempt to do so, to reconnect and have more us time away from the family setting at home. Heck, we do not really want to see ourselves as empty-nesters trying to remember what we liked about each other in the first place. So, preventative maintenance in the way of continuing to court each other, if you will, and canoodling as much as possible, is what we do. But, I digress.

So, dinner was divine. We laughed. I drank wine. It was superb. It was Shiraz by Peter Lehmann. Mmmmm. Filet Mignon was my entree, though it was not as perfect as I would have dreamed up, the atmosphere and my husband's company made the dinner more than I could have hoped for. Oh, and to top it off, I convinced him to share a decadent molten chocolate cake for dessert. To make things better, this was far from the end of our evening. We were able to do a little shopping (for the children of course) and to catch a movie. Truthfully, this one night makes his upcoming trip tolerable. We had such a blast.

Upon returning home, we vegged on the couch, and somehow one of the little ones managed to end up in my arms for a bit. Still, we just enjoyed being together, in our home. I talk a good game about actually enjoying the deployments and that the separation is good for us, but deep down, I do miss the man in blue. After all, home would not really be much of a home without him. He drives me batty, as I do him. We have our spats and we certainly do not love to do everything to other does, but we love each other. Sometimes it takes a deployment or some sort of trip to put all of that in perspective.

For the past 3+ years, we have had the luxury of being able to take each other for granted. Sure, he has traveled here and there, but technically he is at a land unit. We know the likelihood of him going back to a cutter is imminent. We are realistic. At one point, we thought he was going to be in a position to never have to get underway again. Not surprisingly, that change did not take place, but as things tend to change in this military life, it turned out to be alright. The possibilities we are now looking at for the future of my husband's career are promising. We are excited and anxious and just thrilled to be sharing this time together.

Now, I just have to go out and pick up a bottle of that lovely Shiraz to enjoy upon our reunion when his plane comes in. Or, if things get really wacky (as Murphy's Law often requires), I can start enjoying it before he gets home.

Dog Days....making way for PCS 2010 craziness

The summer is still here, but with the rush of students to school and fall on the horizon, we are clinging on. Well, at least I am.

With excitement and anxiety, I know that this could be my last summer at our current location for awhile anyway. That's right folks, PCS 2010 is our year! Yikes! I should note that I have never done a household PCS. I have only done a small DITY move once upon a time pre-children/pre-marriage/pre-hubby. In his multiple tours thus far, DH and I have been fortunate to stay relatively close to the same area, that his orders didn't warrant your typical PCS move. I'll leave it at that so I don't have virtual eggs of jealousy thrown at me.

I have said "I want to go", "Let's see the world", "Travel is for me" so many times that it may finally become a reality. However, as we all know, hurry up and wait hasn't even set in yet. We will soon see cuts come down for rates. Following that or possibly simultaneously, shopping lists will be published for the members. Then, it will be crunch time for research and on one little piece of paper (or computer screen if you will) shall reside our top picks. Will we get what we want? Will priority hinder us? Will seniority or junior rank be an issue? What about schools for the kids? How about a job for me?

The most important question, what beach will I get to enjoy? :)

So, since this year is going to be a whirlwind for me, I'll try to update more often to share with you all of the ebb and flow excitement. Stay tuned...for my camrades are sure to poke fun at me. And, I promise I will try to laugh at myself and not pull all of my hair out. Key word: try.

Standing Up for Military Families Struggling with Autism

Senator Gillibrand's (NY-Dem) proposed Amendment address cites a Coast Guard family.

Please support Taylor's family and all our other military families struggling with Autism by writing to your Senator to show your support and ask them to oppose budget cuts related to the Autism Budget.

Welcome to the Coast Guard Family Flo!

If you haven't heard the exciting news, let me share with you that our very own resident-Coastie-girlfriend, Flo, is now a Coastie wife-to-be. Congratulations to her and her beau!

Flo, I know I speak for so many of us, including all the contributing writers here at Waiting for Ships to Come In, when I say that I wish you all the happiness in the world. You have been around the CG long enough to know it is going to be quite a ride. Enjoy every minute of it!


Be sure to check out Flo's personal blog (hope she doesn't chastise me for linking this): Flo! for the amazing news and pictures.

Best wishes Flo!

A good marriage is one which allows for change and

growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.
Pearl Buck

Happy Independence Day!

Have a wonderful Fourth of July everyone! Be sure to heed the rules of the road and partake in Operation Dry Water! Today is the busiest and historically deadliest day for boaters.

Whether you are barbecuing, boating, or going to see fireworks, remember that today marks a day a very important day in our collective history. We'd really rather know you are all safe and smiling and not laid up in a hospital bed. And, besides, our Coasties don't really want to be busting people for drunken boating. Be smart!

I'm off for a very long day with the family now. Pictures to follow. Enjoy your festivities, whatever they may be.

CG FAMILIES NEED NOT BE DISCOURAGED – ASSISTANCE DOES EXIST FOR YOU TOO

You have probably heard the groans and complaints from some, or maybe even have made some yourself, about the now well-known Military One Source and how CG members are not able to benefit from the program. Look no further, services do exist and you do not need to go through Military OneSource for them. The CG is not forgotten or overlooked. You just have to know where to look.

Military OneSource explains that their benefits are solely intended for members of the DOD and their dependents. As Coast Guard members fall under the Department of Homeland Security, they are not eligible to use Military OneSource. However, CG members and their families should know that the CG does have programs in place to assist its members. These include EAP, WorkLife and your local education office, among many other benefits. Members may not be fully aware of the benefits immediately available to them and are encouraged to speak to their supervisors to find out more ways the CG helps take care of its own. Additionally, Tricare offers various programs for CG members including things like tobacco cessation and weight management programs. Additionally, CG legal is available to help in certain situations, but keep in mind that does not include all legal matters.

Another private corporation also exists for the benefit of CG members’ families, known as Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. (“CGFO”). Currently, CGFO offers assistance in the areas of financial counseling, educational services, scholarships and grant programs as well as family outreach, including, but not limited to mentoring in fostering and adoption matters. CGFO is continuously looking for ways to improve and expand their services. Dependents may wish to contact CGFO to determine what service(s) best serve their needs. Professionals, various field experts, counselors and attorneys, social workers, etc. who wish to volunteer their time to benefit CG families and spouses through CGFO are invited to contact them. For more information on the organization, what they assist with, how to help or to donate, visit: www.coastguardfamily.org.

Additionally, there are other groups out there that exist for CG members and their families. If you have one you wish to share, please post it here in our comments to make our readers aware.

PSA for Coastie Families Without Contingency Plans

Contingency plans are must as most Coast Guard families know. We often have backup babysitters; extra clothes in our cars or a blanket for an emergency; dry food stores in our basements or pantries; first aid kits in the house and vehicle; phone trees; three different email addresses and multiple telephone numbers for spouses to reach us during deployments, and much more. What about the contingency plans for when tragedy strikes though?

Last year, a fellow Coast Guard wife passed away as many of you may recall. I remember her fondly as a spirited gal filled with love who was devoted to her family and her country, having service a number of years in the Coast Guard herself. She and her husband were about to embark on their twilight tour. They had four children, a teenager and three younger children under the age of 10. She was elated to be PCSing to a different place to round out her husband’s career. The news of her death was sudden, for everyone. It was tragic.

I recall the service; it was very moving, but truly sad and gut-wrenching. Not only was I heartbroken for her husband and her children and all those who loved her, but I began to fear for my own children. My concerns since have not waned. In fact, I have continue to be concerned for the welfare of my children should tragedy ever strike.

My man in blue and I have long had extra life insurance plans in place, but I have learned that many other military families do not. They simply rely on SGLI. Now, SGLI is a great benefit and one we are very fortunate to have. I am not discounting its worth by any means. Nonetheless, we have opted to increase our individual life insurance plans by purchasing additional insurance through another company. There are so many options out there and many are quite affordable, even for the less-than-wealthy fireman, with wife and one kid, living on one income.

In my assessment, life insurance is a gift to your children or your heirs. While you may not be here to see them reap the benefits or watch them enjoy whatever you may have left in terms of financial wealth or simple monetary sustainment; it can be a peace of mind thing. In the same vein, it can be a gift to your spouse or significant other left to take care of your remaining estate, debt, home, or whatever.

So, what if you have the money to ensure even a little bit of financial stability for your family after your gone? You may not want your children to have a lump sum to squander. You can always put it in a Trust. They are relatively simple to prepare, so long as it is done according to your resident state’s rules and/or statutes. There are many types too, including educational trusts where you can explain your wishes for money to be disbursed only for that purpose or at a certain age even.

If you have not thought about life insurance or how to plan for your families welfare after you are gone, maybe you should. Maybe you thought I’m too young. I’m in good health. The truth be told, we are not immortal and the best way to plan for the future, even if we may not be around, is to be honest with ourselves that things do happen.

Maybe you have come to the end of this blog and realized what a good idea a financial contingency plan is for your family—maybe you already have one in place—maybe you have decided it is still not something you are interested in. If it is the latter, just take a look around and at least check out some different options. You do not have to commit, but you may end up finding what works well for wallet and will give you some peace of mind at the same time.

Happy Father's Day

To all of our own Coastie dad/husbands, and our reader-fathers, happy day to you. We hope that this day brings you happiness with your families. And, if you are away from them at this time, may their voices, emails, cards, and even your memories bring a smile to your face.

The Coast Guard Compass

Coast Guard announces new blog, The Coast Guard Compass, hosted at: HTTP://COASTGUARD.DODLIVE.MIL.

From their about us page: "The Coast Guard Compass is the official report of the U.S. Coast Guard on its people and missions. The United States Coast Guard is a military, multimission, maritime service within the Department of Homeland Security and one of the nation’s five armed services. The Coast Guard provides unique benefits to the nation because of its distinctive blend of military, humanitarian, and civilian law-enforcement capabilities. Its core roles are Maritime Safety, Maritime Security, Maritime Mobility, National Defense and the Protection of Natural Resources."

One recent article that you all might enjoy is "Guardian of the Week: The Coast Guard Families". I was humbled and honored to see that our very blog is listed in this particular blog post and that they have included us on their blogroll--thanks Coast Guard Compass! We really do appreciate that.

Separations - Just a Part of the Life

I hear folks time and again complaining about how their loved one has to travel or get underway. On the flip side, I also hear stories of families who are thrilled that the deployments give them a chance to appreciate each other more. Whatever the case may be in your family, it's your right to have an opinion. Be warned though, Coast Guard life is not always easy and as a family member you get to be there for the good, the bad and the sometimes annoying back and forth that comes with military hurry up and wait. If I can say two things, they are:

1) Don't be surprised if your loved one has to get on a ship and/or otherwise deploy. This, my friends, is the United States Coast Guard, an Armed Force that has worldwide presence and impact.

2) Don't feel that you are alone. You are certainly not. There is a widespread, welcoming Coast Guard community family here to support you and commiserate with. Reach out.

Sure, you may have just welcomed a new addition into your family, or you are about to do so. Separations, during, after, before or around such a momentous occasion can be downright frustrating. You may experience a slew of emotions. I know. I have been there and so have countless other Coastie spouses and family members. It is not easy. But, hey, look on the bright side, separations are temporary in the grand scheme of things.

The thing I'm not looking forward to is further deployments as the children get older. In their early days, kids are often oblivious to certain things. As they age, that changes drastically. I have talked about this before. My oldest is already having concerns for upcoming deployments. She cannot even fathom dad being gone for longer stints again-she barely tolerates his schedule now. In turn, this makes him sad. He seems to be feeling as though he's letting her down. I reassured him that this is normal and children will go through this. If it's not a deployment, it will be something else. He is worried though, and I appreciate that. I know that he misses the children terribly when he's away. He misses milestones, the making of friends, birthdays, etc.

On a slightly different note, I asked about overseas tour. I think he thought I wanted to get rid of him. In reality, I don't want him gone for a year at a time. Heck, two-six months at a time is tough enough. Still, you do what you have to do. This is bigger than us. That is what being a Coast Guard family member is all about. We make sacrifices too. All military family members do.

Sometimes I think it is harder for us when they go away (I'm sure I'm contradicting an earlier post by stating this). We have a life to keep living and the day to day activities to tend to, always forging ahead. For them, they have the job-an extremely important one at that! They are focused on that. We are focused on them coming home. They are thinking of the mission at hand. We wonder if it's all that crucial.

It is.

I don't want to be all preachy, but I know I can get that way. Forgive me.

Take this post for what you will. It is more of an out loud conversation with myself to reassure me that I can continue to live this life and that I can continue to support my spouse. Not only can I, but I will. I will because my husband signed on the dotted line and no one had to draft him. He chose this life (as did I when I married him). So many others have too. A lot of folks still take that for granted. They never contemplate what it would be like if no one made the choice. You and I know, the choice would be made for us. So, yes, my husband's job is important and temporary separations are just a small sacrifice that we family members can make to support that choice--to support our country.

The Coast Guard is not a walk in the park. It's not the "easy branch". It's not puddle piracy, or whatever else you may have heard. The Coast Guard is so much larger and means so much more than meets the eye. Those of you already living this life know and appreciate that. Think of that next time the tough days get the best of you or someone complains about a 8 week patrol. If I start complaining, shove this post in my face and give me the reminder too.

Gift Giving

Looking for a birthday or holiday gift for your favorite Coastie Kid? Here are some items I thought I’d pass along:
Lego CG Helicopter
Coast Guard Monopoly
Coast Guard Rescue Set
Coast Guard Matchbox Hero Set
CG Mack Truck & Container

And, for the little kid/teen who dreams of growing up to become a member of this elite sea-going service (pardon the very abbreviated enlisted rate list, and sarcasm; it’s my *sad* attempt to be humorous). These items are sure to get them prepared.

BM

DC

EM

ET

OS

FS

IT

GM

HS

MK

MST

SK

YN

Maybe… if I’m brave one day I will share with you my tongue-in-cheek list of gifts for certain career paths/ranks. Maybe.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy day to all of our mom readers out there!

I remember my first mother's day. It was also the upon day upon which my first anniversary fell, ironically. My husband woke up that morning to leave for a C school states away. Of course, I was disappointed. In fact, I was downright angry. I knew the rules of the game, even early on in our marriage that he would have to leave now and again. It wasn't new to us or to me. Still, alone is not how I wanted to spend this very special day. Perhaps it was a little bit of postpartum hormones getting the best of me too.

The man in blue was bummed about our anniversary, but at the time categorized Mother's Day as just a Hallmark holiday, man-speak for I didn't get you anything, and I don't plan to. Seriously, he thought this. So, I spent the morning begging him to stay (even though I know he couldn't) and probably crying a lot. Out the door he went, and my newborn baby and I hopped in the car and drove to my mom's. I was lucky enough to live within a few hours of her, so that helped to ease the loneliness that came with my husband leaving on this particular day.

At any rate, fast forward to this morning. My man in blue is home this year. yippee! The family has grown and I know have three eager children bestowing me with cards and homemade gifts. My husband even gave me the most beautiful claddagh ring with an emerald set in it that he got from a port call in Colombia about 5 years ago. It's beautiful. Needless to say, my man has come around, and loves to surprise me, Hallmark holiday or not.

So, today we are home enjoying each other because we know that next year may bring a different scenario. He could be home, he could be away, only time will tell. Whatever the case may be, I think I've grown a bit and the water works may not be as bad if he were to be gone again. Still, I suppose we each deserve to succumb to the sadness a little bit on occasions like these. We just don't have to let it consume us.

To all of you mother's out there, I hope you have a special day whatever you may be doing and whomever you may be spending it with!