Friday, September 26, 2008

A Reader Shares Thanks - Common perspectives

Recently we received a very nice note from one of our newer blog readers. She “wanted to send a quick note of thanks for [the blog]”. Her message touched on how sometimes it’s difficult to deal with the strain the CG life can put on a relationship. I think we’ve all been there at one point or another. I know that for me personally it was more difficult when I didn’t have a strong support group. And, by support group, I mean a bunch of fellow military wives/girlfriends that I could kvetch with about a sour day or with whom I could share news of a looming advancement. They just got it and got me.

Our reader also discussed how she was never exposed to a military lifestyle before and that “[i]t's definitely an adjustment." She said, "This blog has helped me see the positives in being a Coastie wife/girlfriend and (try to) stay flexible.” Isn’t it nice to know you are not alone? I think we all seek that kind of feeling in our lives.

At times, I feel a bit guilty for being able to cope (most of the time). You see having been in the military I was already forced to accept that you there is always a hurry up and wait situation and how flexibility is not an option but rather more of a requirement. If you aren’t flexible, you just might break. And, really, who wants that? Brittle pieces of you scattered all over the map just is not ideal, and it makes a big mess. Perhaps that is why I hear so much about lubrication. Yes, that must be it! The reference must be in regard to lubrication of joints, ligaments and tendons, to ensure that we are pliable and maintain our elasticity.

So, dear reader, even though you mentioned how “it's not [your] first nature for [you] to be flexible” you did say you were trying and that’s what really matters. We get that. It is not easy. I think there is a saying that goes something like Anything that’s worth doing, isn’t always easy. Isn’t that the truth?

I will share with you something a bit comical. Our reader touched upon how it is “hard to stay positive all the time when plans get cancelled or put off because of a last minute deployment”. It is the nature of the beast, but that doesn’t mean it is always that with which we want to deal. Anyway, my father-in-law was planning on a visit. My husband told him he may be sent on orders somewhere, but that he was basically in a standby to standby position. Exasperated, his father (who is an Army vet mind you) actually asked, “Why can’t they give you an answer? Don’t they realize people have lives? How can anyone make plans?” To this the man in blue replied, “Easy, I make plans and if I have to cancel, I just cancel.” That is it. He was just matter-of-fact about it. I will say that not everyone has this attitude. It has taken us awhile to learn to roll with the punches. We chose this life, and we try to remember that when we get frustrated and irritated with how things can go. After all, we know there is not some guy or gal in an Ivory Tower handing down orders to screw up someone’s weekend or holiday plans. It is not personal. It is simply part of this life. (Of course, that doesn’t mean we eagerly accept everything with a happy face; we are human and sometimes our emotions come through in a not-so-pleasant way.)

Just hang in there. It sounds like you are doing your best to support your loved one and applaud his efforts. We hope you keep coming back and even post some comments. We would love to hear from you. And, if I may add one pun (bad as it may be), remember, we are all in this boat together.


(A Little) Gris Gris said...

I couldn't have said it better. It's just life, but it's our life, and we just roll with it. Thanks for the post - and welcome to the new reader!

(A Little) Gris Gris said...

Whoops, she's not new. But, hello anyway!

Amber said...

To that reader:

That, my friend, is why this blog is here. All of the contributors here have a different perspective - some are Airdale wives, some are boat wives, some have military background and others don't.

The important thing, like JAGIAP said, is that we are all in this boat together. I am certainly one of those that tries to bloom where I'm planted and live Semper Gumby. Boy, that's easier said than done, though. I don't have a military background, and my husband joined the CG after we'd been married almost 5 years. I'm still adjusting to this way of life after 4 years. (I'm quite a baby to the CG compared to most of the rest.)

We do have to roll with the punches and deal with things, but it doesn't mean we have to love every second of it. ;)

I'm glad our blog is a little ray of sunshine for you. Remember that you can do it. We all can.

C Anderson said...

It was a hard lesson to learn-- flexibility. I read the fine print of Semper Paratus (they really DO mean always ready) and I still laugh at the "Property of the US Govt" Stamp on my beloved's derriere. It's invisible to many who wish we could just visit and vacation on a whim, but finding humor in the situation and relying on blogs like these helps you through.