Happy Mother's Day!

Happy day to all of our mom readers out there!

I remember my first mother's day. It was also the upon day upon which my first anniversary fell, ironically. My husband woke up that morning to leave for a C school states away. Of course, I was disappointed. In fact, I was downright angry. I knew the rules of the game, even early on in our marriage that he would have to leave now and again. It wasn't new to us or to me. Still, alone is not how I wanted to spend this very special day. Perhaps it was a little bit of postpartum hormones getting the best of me too.

The man in blue was bummed about our anniversary, but at the time categorized Mother's Day as just a Hallmark holiday, man-speak for I didn't get you anything, and I don't plan to. Seriously, he thought this. So, I spent the morning begging him to stay (even though I know he couldn't) and probably crying a lot. Out the door he went, and my newborn baby and I hopped in the car and drove to my mom's. I was lucky enough to live within a few hours of her, so that helped to ease the loneliness that came with my husband leaving on this particular day.

At any rate, fast forward to this morning. My man in blue is home this year. yippee! The family has grown and I know have three eager children bestowing me with cards and homemade gifts. My husband even gave me the most beautiful claddagh ring with an emerald set in it that he got from a port call in Colombia about 5 years ago. It's beautiful. Needless to say, my man has come around, and loves to surprise me, Hallmark holiday or not.

So, today we are home enjoying each other because we know that next year may bring a different scenario. He could be home, he could be away, only time will tell. Whatever the case may be, I think I've grown a bit and the water works may not be as bad if he were to be gone again. Still, I suppose we each deserve to succumb to the sadness a little bit on occasions like these. We just don't have to let it consume us.

To all of you mother's out there, I hope you have a special day whatever you may be doing and whomever you may be spending it with!

Let's Settle a Wedding Attire Debate- What's right about the whites?

One of our lovely readers sent me a message today!

The question is all about a uniform on a wedding day. I wanted to share with you all since we all have different opinions and it might be helpful to our reader.

Reader said: My daughter who is marrying a Coastie in August 2010. The groom will be an O-3 with 2-3 groomsmen being fellow officers. He wants to wear dress whites, but this is interfering with the dress selections my daughter is focusing on (they are shades of white and just don't look good with the CG whites). Would dress blues be appropriate here? Is there an appropriate uniform selection here? What about the groomsmen? The ceremony is early afternoon and the reception is 6-10pm. My daughter and her fiance attended the All Academy Ball in Chicago in December 2007 and we thought that he looked pretty good in a formal blue uniform.

Dear Reader:

First, let me say congratulations to your daughter and your family. What a momentous occasion to be celebrating. I remember fondly the planning stages of my own wedding. Of course, I remember the bickering, petty squabbles and silliness too.

Second, let me state that a wedding is really about the union of two people. Really, in the grand scheme of things, that is the most important thing. You already knew that though. Of course, it's hard not to get caught up in the little things when you are planning perhaps the biggest day of your daughters life.

Surely right now people are screaming at me through their computer screens. It's all about the dress! or It's her wedding, let her decide!

I say, it's the groom's day too! Let him wear his whites. Dress blues in the summertime, yikes! Unless they are getting married inside in Air Conditioning or in the Antarctic, I REALLY emphasize the whites. The bride and groom will look beautiful.

I say forget the blue and stick with the whites. The bride and groom don't have to be matchy-matchy. No one will be gossiping about what did or did not clash. If they do, ignore them and tell them to get over it.

Good luck to the happy couple in whatever attire they decide. I am sure my fellow bloggers will pipe in soon with their thoughts on the matter as well. So be sure to read the comments here.

Thanks for reading!

Tuggin' at the ole heartstrings.

One of my daughters was looking at some photos tonight, which featured my man in blue in uniform, a cutter he was once stationed on and other similar photos.

She broke out into a melancholy song and here are some of the words in as much order as I could capture:

You always go away but I still love you
Your the father that I can never forget
Because the only Coast Guard guy I know is my father
When he goes out on the boat, I always make him a welcome sign
I love you more then I love you the best

(Disclaimer, all teary eyes aside, she knows many more Coasties, and yes, that was all improvised, I couldn't catch it all, and I did giggle a bit. I was typing this as she serenaded her Daddy).

Happy New Year!

With each year that passes comes memories to cherish and some to forget. I imagine many Coast Guard families are eagerly looking toward what the new year will bring. Many await orders, advancements and boards while others are thrilled with an increase of BAH and possibly COLA. Some delight about and others frown upon the new uniforms coming down the pike and others are giddy with excitement about possible new rates on the horizon.

Personally, this year has been a joyous one for me. Sure there have been low points, but like any part-time optimist, I like to focus on the highs. Late last year, a friend/colleague and I began discussing a project that could benefit the Coast Guard family community. With some effort, the project developed into something very promising in January 2008 and with the help of some talented spouses the project will become so much more in the months and years to come. We are finding ways to support Coast Guard spouses and their families and are inspired by one another to keep growing. Of course, that project would have been nothing but a blip on the radar screen if it wasn’t for the Waiting for Ships blog.

One Big Coastie Family (aka Waiting for Ships) came to fruition this past February. I cannot express my thanks enough to the amazing contributors to this blog. I appreciate each and every one of you! I have been far too absent in posting since I returned to the daily grind and these ladies have kept this little ship afloat with their anecdotes and messages. Many folks have contacted us over the past months to extend their thanks for our blog and connect with their own experiences and that warms my heart.

As this year comes to a close, I wish you and yours a wonderful and prosperous 2009. I am grateful to have my husband by my side this year as there have been many years that he’s been away at sea on this momentous night. If you are as fortunate, hug your loved one close and if you are not, thank you for keeping the home fires burning. I raise my glass to you!

With solemn hearts, we have said fair winds and following seas to many members of this Coast Guard family in 2008. Unexpected tragedies as well as deaths as a result of illness touched many of our lives. The list is long from active and reserve Coasties, to retired Coast Guard personnel to spouses and children. Our sympathies continue to be with the families and friends of all those who have passed on this year.

In closing and in the nautical spirit, I’d like to borrow from the English translation of Scotsman Robert Burn’s poem “Auld Lang Syne”:

We two have paddled in the stream,from morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roaredsince auld lang syne.

Source.

Salut!

Goodness. It's quiet around here.

Well everyone must be busy with the long-weekend for Columbus Day behind us and Halloween coming up soon. Maybe it's the chill in the air, in most places or the foliage that has us distracted. Of course, I know our ladies in the South, Cali and way up North in Alaska are probably enjoying different weather. How goes it in your neck of the woods? Remember, it's still hurricane season, so brush up on the tips posted earlier this season by Amber and Mary on our blog, especially if you are in a hurricane prone area.

I have been swamped with work of all types lately. Rather than bore you with all of that though, I will say I am currently enjoying my husband being home. We are looking at him possibly leaving again soon for a short trip, but that is doable. Some of our contributors right now are still enduring some lengthy separations and others are getting ready for deployment time again.

This time of year can make or break the spirit in terms of deployments. With the holidays upon us, we all want our loved ones to be home for the Big Days. You know where you can gorge yourself on turkey and trim the tree and say a toast at midnight. Still, in this life, we know that there will be times that we cannot always be with our Coasties on those most special days. So, many opt to celebrate in different ways and often on different days throughout the year. We make the most of what time we have and try to understand the needs of the Coast Guard. That's just how we roll. :)

Anyone have a unique holiday tradition story to share? What do you do when your loved one is deployed on a Big Day?

BRATship envy.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a military brat. Moving ever few years, exploring new area and meeting new people, what could be better? Alright, I'm sure there are those who fall on either side of the fence, those having loved being a military kid and those who despised all that came with it.

I find it slightly comical that Wikipedia refers to military brats as being part of an American subculture. Sounds so underground! Of course, Dr. David C. Pollock included military kids in a group he titled "Third Culture Kids". Who knew there was so much discussion and labeling of military children? One explanation of Third Culture Kids comes from Interaction, Inc. and it goes as follows: “Third culture kids (TCKs) are not new, and they are not few. They have been a part of the earth’s population from the earliest migrations. They are normal people with the usual struggles and pleasures of life. But because they have grown up with different experiences from those who have lived primarily in one culture, TCKs are sometimes seen as slightly strange by the people around them."

I'm sorry, but what? Honestly, that describes a large percentage of the world's children. Aren't all kids strange? They have odd habits sometimes, they do funny things. Of course, they have been a part of the earth from earliest migration, it's that whole which came first the chicken or the egg thing. Seriously? Perhaps this is way over my head and I'm not on that intellectual plain to comprehend the delicate and complex issue at hand. Maybe this guy actually trying to come up with something brilliant here and he had knowledge that not everyone possesses. It all sounds a little Indigo Child to me, of course, many things may be opposite, but you get them point. I am hugely digressing here. Anyway, like me, people (who didn't grow up military) seem to be fascinated with brathood.

I suppose I wouldn't have liked being analyzed and labeled by doctors, philosopher and psychologists. Still, aside from that, the life intrigues me. My children are, obviously, military brats. Ironically, *takes voice down to a whisper* they have all been born in the same hospital. Shhh. I don't share that with too many military wives, it's insanely unheard of, and I'm very lucky to have had my three kids delivered by the same OB staff. True story.
Nonetheless, they will have lived in different locations. They will have stories about my husband's comings and goings. They will have pictures, scrapbooks, treasures and other memorabilia to collect throughout the years that will tell a tale of their military family and the travels they endured. They will, in my assessment, have a leg up on some of their civilian friends for they may very well be exposed to more ethnicities, cultures and religions in their childhood because of our situation. Oh, wait, that's also a personal thing. I do think any parent, civilian or military, can give such exposure to their child. Still, I do think it kind of goes hand in hand with the military life. You know, the whole nomadic life experience thing.

My biggest concern is that of moving schools. Okay, I take that back. I have a teeny concern about it. There are options. I'm okay with moving a bunch during the elementary school years. Still, what comes of these kids when they get up their in age and start seriously establishing themselves in school districts? Is it terribly traumatic on them to uproot them and replant them during junior year of high school? (My husband thinks this won't be an issue for us, but I've got him doing 30 years whether he likes it or not. ;) ).

When I start to think about this I remember my junior year of high school. We had this girl move to our district from who-knows-where. Her dad was in the service. She had just been named her high school's junior prom Queen the month before she moved to our school. She bragged about it and made it her 'break the ice with the home team' information. Well, our school's prom was the next month. We were late in the year. The girl actually brought her sash to our prom. Wouldn't you know it, she even walked around the junior girls circle thingy to be judged (how cruel, is that anyway?) to hopefully make prom court. Well, I kid you not, this chick actually got chosen as Queen of OUR junior prom too. Then, she moved over the summer (nods head) and didn't even go to school with us senior year. we never heard from her again. We had a theory that her dad wasn't really in the military, that they just moved so she could collect prom sashes.

Anyway, I'm so completely off topic. LOL

So, I guess for kids like THAT, it can be fun and cool. Still, what of the kid who doesn't really fit in and doesn't do well in new situations? Do you just homeschool or tell them to suck it up? You could GEO I suppose, but man, that can be tough too.

I'd love to hear some brat stories and see your experiences. What have your kids been through thus far? Do you think the Coast Guard brats are any different than other service brats? How so? (You like the homework assignment?) :)

September 11th

Photo Source

From WhiteHouse.gov:

Today, we mark the seventh anniversary of 9/11, when our nation saw the face of evil.

Yet on that awful day, we also witnessed something distinctly American: ordinary citizens rising to the occasion, and responding with extraordinary acts of courage.

~~~

Recently someone spoke about making sure we had a moment of silence on this day. In response a man exclaimed that he wanted to shout from the rooftops, more or less. He wasn't suggesting that we not honor the dead and remember solemnly, rather he wanted us to never forget. To him, to many, this isn't just one day of remembrance. He wanted us to condemn the attacks and those that perpetrated them. He wanted us to raise our fists in opposition to those who threaten us. It's something we must not forget. We don't need to live in fear, but we can use it as a reminder that we are not immortal, we are not 100% safe, we are vulnerable, but so long as we remember that, we can be stronger and better prepared.

Some random thoughts: This morning, my daughter is at school. Her young little self has no knowledge of the tragic events that occurred on September 11, 2001, yet. She wasn't born. I haven't ever found a way to tell her in words that won't scare what today is all about. As I walked away from the school this morning, I heard over the loud speaker that at 8:46 a.m. they would have a moment of silence. There was no explanation. Perhaps, like me the educators there felt the elementary school children were too young. Perhaps they assumed they already knew. Perhaps I will now have a discussion with my daughter when she comes home today.

Celebrating the Fourth of July

Independence Day is upon us. The greatest American day of celebration! Many will mark it with backyard parties and fireworks. Typically, our family enjoys a big BBQ and fun with friends and relatives. This year, we have opted to do something else, much to the chagrin of my family. We are fortunate (or not so) that my family is within reasonable driving distance. I have been going to the referenced family party almost every year since I was born. Of course, as times have changed so has the tone of the celebration.

When I was a young girl, the party was actually held at my great uncle’s house. He, I must mention, is a Korean War veteran and a man I admire for a great many reasons, but I digress. Since I can remember, he and my aunt hosted the most fun July 4th party. There would be incredible spread that seemed unending and would be readily replenished with fresh food before you even realized what was happening. The adults (and bigger kids) would play game after game of volleyball, in fierce competition. The pool would be filled with children and a few adults here and there trying with all of their might to make a whirlpool. Music filling the air was from the 1940’s through the 1960’s and embodied the spirit of America within its notes, harmonies and lyrics.

My aunt’s famous chocolate bon-bons were highly anticipated and the height of excitement (at least for me). The men would often also enjoy a game (or 20) or horseshoes amidst the tree-lined backyard and the older generation would sit at the picnic tables swapping “I remember when” stories. Here, among others, would sit my late great-grandmother who is sorely missed by my family as a whole. Perhaps her absence is part of a reason for the change of tone in the party. Finally, the evening would sometimes be topped off with fireworks (well years back anyway), and then we’d all go home smiling, fat-bellied and tired.

My aunt and uncle have stopped holding the picnics and instead their daughter and family now acts as hosts at their home. It’s a big undertaking, and they don’t have to do it, but do each year now. It’s fun, but it’s just not the same. The atmosphere is different, the music isn’t the same, the faces have grown older and some are now gone. Really, there’s nothing to complain about, but to me, I am still stuck in my memory of the great 4th of July celebrations that we once had.

This year, I told my husband, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. So, instead we’ve opted to participate in our town’s holiday parade and other activities. This evening, we are hoping to take in a local fireworks display. While my children are young, I’m hoping to demonstrate to them the spirit of patriotism (not just this weekend, but every day). I know that’s a lofty goal, but I feel that the 4th of July is a bit more than the barbecued chicken and bon-bons. Yes, I have fantastic memories, and I knew what the 4th was all about, but I never appreciated it until now. I look at this day just as I view Memorial Day or Veterans Day and even Thanksgiving Day. In my nostalgic and romantic mind, it is a day of recognition to appreciate the sacrifices made for our freedom and the way our country has progressed since the days our Founding Fathers penned the Declaration of Independence.

Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe it’s not the party that has changed, maybe it’s just me and this new perspective. I suppose that happens when you get older.

However you choose to celebrate this Independence Day, be safe. Make some wonderful memories and be thankful that we have a this great Nation to call home.

For the Love of the Coast Guard

The 1940's and the United States was embroiled in the second World War. Unfortunately for many, the Draft was in effect.

During this time, a young man from Massachusetts had his heart set on joining the Coast Guard. It was all he ever wanted. He visited the Coast Guard recruiting office and was told that he was underweight, yes underweight, and was told to go home and eat bananas to put on some more weight. Sadly before he could return to the Coast Guard recruiter and sign the enlistment papers, he was drafted by the United States Army. He was a serviceman, but not the type he longed to be. Dutifully he fought for his country overseas and has amazing and frightening stories he won't even share in a lady's presence--always the consummate gentleman.

He met the love of his life somewhere around this time and they married and had four children. Those children beget them 6 great-children, and those grand-children have so far provided four great-great grandchildren to this particular family tree. Through the years of working in the civilian world and raising a family and contributing to his beloved community, this man, this would-be sailor never lost sight of his true passion. He remained true to his United States Coast Guard. Though, he never served within its ranks, he demonstrates and has demonstrated a pride in this service as if he were a 20 or 30 year veteran. He studied and still reads the history, follows the news and events of today and even volunteers his time at the U.S. Coast Guard Heritage Museum in Barnstable, Massachusetts.

Perhaps the love this man has always had for the USCG planted a seed in his grandson's head long ago, unbeknownst to him of course. You see, the grandson, when he was about 21, decided to join the Coast Guard. What joy the boy's decision brought to the former soldier. It was as if he was making the man's dreams come true. Before the young man went to bootcamp, his grandfather brought him to a beach on Cape Cod one day and told his grandson for the very first time about his near miss with the Coast Guard and he told the young man how proud he was that his grandson was now going to live the dream he tried to live so many years before. The boy's grandparents would proudly display certificates, awards and photos of their grandson in their home. They regaled their friends with the tales of the boy's travels and beamed as they heard about each advancement.

Many years have passed since that day on the beach. The boy, now a grown man with a wife and children, continues to serve the Coast Guard proudly. The grandfather still beams with pride and lives vicariously through the sea stories and ashore tales of his grandson. Watching the two talk, you can almost see the elder man transported back to his own youth, his passion for the Coast Guard reignited. If you pay attention, you'll notice the chest of the younger man stick out a little more as he sits up a little straighter and holds his head a little higher--his own pride and passion renewed and refueled. He loves the sea, his job, and the life he himself only started by chance. I'm proud to call the grandson my husband.

* - * - * - *

My husband's grandfather sends us cards and notes thanking us for our service to our country. Can you imagine? A WWII veteran takes the time to thank us for our simple service to this great country. Neither of us have served actively in a conflict or war. We are not heroes.

This Memorial Day, I found myself teary eyed as I watched footage and heard speeches about lives lost in battle. Words can never express the gratitude our Nation has for the men and women who served so bravely and the sacrifices they made. We must honor them always such to preserve their spirit and also to remind ourselves that their lives were not lost and their sacrifices were not made in vain. Finally, for whatever or whomever kept my husband's grandfather safe and alive during his time at war, I am eternally grateful. If things had been different, I might not be sitting here sharing with you a tale of two men and their love for the United States Coast Guard.

* - * - * - *

All we have of freedom, all we use or know -This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.

Rudyard Kipling (1899)

* A special thanks to my husband who collaborated with me on this story.

PHOTO CONTEST - PART II; Theme: HOMECOMINGS

Theme: HOMECOMINGS


Do you have the ideal shot of a couple reuniting after a deployment? Does your photo of a couple on the pier with locked lips rival the famous V-J Day Times Square Kiss shot (you know the one)? Perhaps it’s a little girl running to her daddy or mom after he/she steps into view in the hangar. The possibilities are endless.



The couple in this photo was taken for the Boston Globe and submitted by our very own "The Flying Fish". She and her husband are reuniting her following his work with Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Thanks for sharing this photo with us.
Photo by Boston Globe (2005)

Requirements:

1) It has to do with a military homecoming;
2) It has to have people visible in the shot; and,
3) It has to have been taken by you in the past five (5) years.
4) The size of the photo should be a minimum of 640x480 pixels, if possible.

Submit photos in jpeg format to justagirlinaport@gmail.com no later than June 5th. Voting will commence June 7th. Only one photo submission per person please.

Questions? Let us know.

Good luck!

Scrapping Coast Guard Memories

My memories are just that, mine. My husband’s may be the polar opposite of mine. So, then why on earth am I going to scrap his CG memories? Well, partly because he will never do it and also because it will be a great keepsake for our family. I guess many of the memories are mine too; I have been along for the ride for awhile now. Alright, so it will be our CG memories.

I have begun interrogating him about dates and faces that I don’t know. Still, I’m having a hard time starting to put it all together. I guess in a sense I’m hesitant because to me putting an album together has been after the fact. There is some finality to it. I know that sounds silly. Of course, I know it would be crazy for me to wait until he retires. By then, dates and faces may escape both of us. Right now, we have things fresh in our memories (for the most part). The best part about this process is looking back on how far he’s come and what he has accomplished. Sometimes he says "it's just a job", but his pride in his work and the friends he has made over the years, among many other things, demonstrate to me that deep down it means more than he will ever let on.

I’m a bit of a dreamer and far less practical than my husband at times, and I look at our life in the military as an adventure. In fact, many spouses will tell you the same thing. Where your average mother might want to be rooted in one place and raise her kids in the traditions she was raised, I want to enjoy this ride to the fullest and expose my family to things (cultures, different climates, etc.) That being said, we, unintentionally, seem to keep ending up in the same region. Thus far, we've had fantastic experiences and met some amazing people, but I’m itching to experience more. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though that the future will bring travels well worthy of scrapping. Here’s to new faces and new places!