The next day.

There was no news.

I did, however, get a frantic email from a dear friend, wanting to know the scoop. I was floored because outside of writing on this blog (incognito of course) I didn't share the information with anyone (okay, my mom doesn't count). I was so confused when I got the email. Of course, I soon realized, thanks to her admission that she stalks this blog. Yay! I love readers, especially friends who read the gibberish I write and the wonderful posts of my fellow contributing writers (come out wherever you are ladies).

Back on the subject....

I totally didn't expect any news today. These AOs are busy folks. They have a lot to deal with and a lot of decisions to make. I do not envy them; however, I pray for their sanity and gentle assigning :).

On another note, the man in blue will be off again soon. That's right, my temporarily land-locked Coastie will be venturing away from homeport soon. He found out at lunchtime again today. I'm started to sense a trend here.

So, the kids are a little unhappy. Scratch that, they are really mad. If they think that's bad--wait 'til the PCS orders are cut, I think my oldest may actually try to be adopted into a different family just to stay here.

Until next time. I have a feeling my posts are going to pretty frequent--to keep my sanity, of course.

A day in the life.

Waaaaahhhhhh!

smack! Wahhhhhh smack! Waaaah. (to myself, why won't this alarm shut off?) Oh, it's a child screaming, no wonder my 'snooze' isn't working.) *

Up and at 'em. It's a weekday morning in the life of a Coastie wife whose man in blue has ventured off for a bit. Wrestling youngin's out to the breakfast table is no easy feat. Heck, convincing them that wearing regular clothes to school in lieu of jammies, is even more trying. Give it a whirl sometime. Okay, maybe it is just my stubborn rugrats.

After a great deal of breakfast debates (despite my carefully planned out menu) and the rush to brush (teeth and hair), the clown car begins. All of us hustle out the door, lunch bags (check), backpacks (check), mom's purse (check), child 1, child 2, baby.....uh, where's the baby. Ah, yes, standing in the front lawn insisting to play with his lawnmower whilst you shush him (so he doesn't wake the neighborhood) and cajole him into the car.

Ah, the car. It's a beautiful hint of paradise on wheels. For, my friends, it is the minivan (cue heavenly chimes). I know, you envy me. I would too. With it's sprinkling of left over french fries embedded underneath the car seat you just cleaned and the speeding ticket you have to send in, the beauty on wheels is luxurious accommodations for any proud parent. Just enough headroom and enough room in the back that when the kids decide to chuck something at my head they can barely reach because they are not that good of a shot. *sigh* the joys of parenthood.

Calming them down from the frenzy of the out-the-door rush, we enjoy some happening kid tunes or some soothing tropical beats (thanks to Kenny Chesney), but that's more for me. :) They do their best to sing along until someone shouts Mom, she's singing too loud, I can't hear myself. Sweet, isn't it? Thankfully, the ride to school is but a mere five minutes.

Pop open the luxury van doors zoom, and scurry into the school dropping off paperwork, bags and children. Can't forget the children. 'Course they might be a hoot at the office. I'm sure they'd love to stir up some trouble there.

Back in the car--just me and Kenny. Down the highway, into morning bliss (eerrrrr....traffic). Commuters are so pleasant sometimes, aren't they? They really can brighten up your morning with the angst and crazy driving. Henry Ford must be rolling over in his grave with the sport and leisure of driving disgraced as it often is these days. In any event, I'm no angel, I'll admit, and I even have been known to pick up the phone when driving. Yikes!

Speaking of the phone while driving. Oftentimes, in port elsewhere or even at the base he's stationed at, the man in blue will often call me about this time of the morning.

Good morning beautiful, how's your morning? How were the kids?

Silly man. He gets the same story every day, yet, I humor him and tell just about the same story. You think somewhere along the way, I'd figure out how to cultivate a sense of a calm. I guess it's just not my nature.

We chat for a bit and then down the highway I continue, now full steam ahead. And, he continues on with his peaceful morning, that has been consistently childless (except of course, if he's dealing with...never mind).

Work = vacation

Alright, perhaps that is a bit drastic. Still, sometimes, it's my refuge. The place where I return to adulthood and recharge only to have demands put upon me by older individuals, well older than my children anyway. Somewhere, wherever he may be, my man in blue is still enjoying his childless day, probably without a worry in his head. See, I'm a worrier, I worry all day about him, the kids, what's for dinner, can I fit a workout in tonight, what to blog about (not really), and so much more.

The day ends. At this point, while the man in blue is away, I have to leave work early to be able to pick up the kids from preschool/after school care in time. See, normally, leaving early would be desirable, but there is nothing I hate more than rushing. After all, that is how my day starts. I hate when it ends like that. So, I zoom back up the highway. I arrive to screaming, wild and over stimulated children who are starving for dinner, which baffles me as they eat non-stop all day practically.

Dinner is pretty much a repeat of breakfast. We hope to hear from the man in blue and if we are lucky even get to video chat with him, depending on where he is. Still, sometimes this almost makes matters worse. As the night wears on and weary children grow sleepy, they start to miss daddy even more. An excuse to stay up? A serious missing of him? It's hard to tell. Once they are settled in bed, typically a hour after they were all first sent to bed, I scurry to get everything done, the bills, the cleaning, getting the clothes and lunches ready for morning. Last night I didn't sit down (literally) until 10:30 p.m. I even ate dinner standing while trying to do the laundry at the same time. I am super-stupid mom alright. Multi-tasking is such a ridiculous sport sometimes, but hey, I'm a glutton for punishment.

FINALLY.......after hours of non-stop everything, I hit the shower and then the rack. I say rack, because well the bed sometimes feels as uncomfortable as that when the man in blue is away. You know how you just can't quite get comfortable. You toss and turn and hear every little noise. Yeah, it's something like that. And, then, (barring any night terrors or other incidents during the night) we sleep and get up and do it all over again. That is if get any sleep, again. You think being as exhausted as I am I would just crash. You know how that goes though.

See, life does go on, when my Coastie's away, it's just in fast forward mode, trying to be both parents at once and saving the world one diaper, gummy snack and sheet of homework at a time.
So, honey if you are reading this, I might miss you a little bit. Oh, and rumor has it some shopping lists are out, come on home so we can chat about it and plan my 3-4 yr vacation in some tropical location. The kids can stay with family. ;)

And, if the rest of you folks are still reading this, you are nuts. :) Of course, maybe you can relate. Can you?

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*Disclaimer: No, I wasn't smacking a child. It was the alarm clock my dears.

The ship is in.

And, soon my man in blue flies to it. So, soon I will be awaiting his plane to come in some time around next....ah, you thought I was going to divulge that information.

Last night we had the perfect date night. Nothing says happily wedded bliss like a gift card for a fine dinner and a trusted babysitter to watch over the young ones. Our dinner was an early one. Think senior citizen early. The restaurant was posh beyond my wildest expectations--very 1930's swanky. The menu prices did shock me, but again, we had the gift certificate, which is so very appreciated. After all, when you are making an effort to feed and clothe a family of five a night out is to dinner and a movie is often a luxury we do not afford ourselves. Over the past year though, we have been making more of an attempt to do so, to reconnect and have more us time away from the family setting at home. Heck, we do not really want to see ourselves as empty-nesters trying to remember what we liked about each other in the first place. So, preventative maintenance in the way of continuing to court each other, if you will, and canoodling as much as possible, is what we do. But, I digress.

So, dinner was divine. We laughed. I drank wine. It was superb. It was Shiraz by Peter Lehmann. Mmmmm. Filet Mignon was my entree, though it was not as perfect as I would have dreamed up, the atmosphere and my husband's company made the dinner more than I could have hoped for. Oh, and to top it off, I convinced him to share a decadent molten chocolate cake for dessert. To make things better, this was far from the end of our evening. We were able to do a little shopping (for the children of course) and to catch a movie. Truthfully, this one night makes his upcoming trip tolerable. We had such a blast.

Upon returning home, we vegged on the couch, and somehow one of the little ones managed to end up in my arms for a bit. Still, we just enjoyed being together, in our home. I talk a good game about actually enjoying the deployments and that the separation is good for us, but deep down, I do miss the man in blue. After all, home would not really be much of a home without him. He drives me batty, as I do him. We have our spats and we certainly do not love to do everything to other does, but we love each other. Sometimes it takes a deployment or some sort of trip to put all of that in perspective.

For the past 3+ years, we have had the luxury of being able to take each other for granted. Sure, he has traveled here and there, but technically he is at a land unit. We know the likelihood of him going back to a cutter is imminent. We are realistic. At one point, we thought he was going to be in a position to never have to get underway again. Not surprisingly, that change did not take place, but as things tend to change in this military life, it turned out to be alright. The possibilities we are now looking at for the future of my husband's career are promising. We are excited and anxious and just thrilled to be sharing this time together.

Now, I just have to go out and pick up a bottle of that lovely Shiraz to enjoy upon our reunion when his plane comes in. Or, if things get really wacky (as Murphy's Law often requires), I can start enjoying it before he gets home.

Separations - Just a Part of the Life

I hear folks time and again complaining about how their loved one has to travel or get underway. On the flip side, I also hear stories of families who are thrilled that the deployments give them a chance to appreciate each other more. Whatever the case may be in your family, it's your right to have an opinion. Be warned though, Coast Guard life is not always easy and as a family member you get to be there for the good, the bad and the sometimes annoying back and forth that comes with military hurry up and wait. If I can say two things, they are:

1) Don't be surprised if your loved one has to get on a ship and/or otherwise deploy. This, my friends, is the United States Coast Guard, an Armed Force that has worldwide presence and impact.

2) Don't feel that you are alone. You are certainly not. There is a widespread, welcoming Coast Guard community family here to support you and commiserate with. Reach out.

Sure, you may have just welcomed a new addition into your family, or you are about to do so. Separations, during, after, before or around such a momentous occasion can be downright frustrating. You may experience a slew of emotions. I know. I have been there and so have countless other Coastie spouses and family members. It is not easy. But, hey, look on the bright side, separations are temporary in the grand scheme of things.

The thing I'm not looking forward to is further deployments as the children get older. In their early days, kids are often oblivious to certain things. As they age, that changes drastically. I have talked about this before. My oldest is already having concerns for upcoming deployments. She cannot even fathom dad being gone for longer stints again-she barely tolerates his schedule now. In turn, this makes him sad. He seems to be feeling as though he's letting her down. I reassured him that this is normal and children will go through this. If it's not a deployment, it will be something else. He is worried though, and I appreciate that. I know that he misses the children terribly when he's away. He misses milestones, the making of friends, birthdays, etc.

On a slightly different note, I asked about overseas tour. I think he thought I wanted to get rid of him. In reality, I don't want him gone for a year at a time. Heck, two-six months at a time is tough enough. Still, you do what you have to do. This is bigger than us. That is what being a Coast Guard family member is all about. We make sacrifices too. All military family members do.

Sometimes I think it is harder for us when they go away (I'm sure I'm contradicting an earlier post by stating this). We have a life to keep living and the day to day activities to tend to, always forging ahead. For them, they have the job-an extremely important one at that! They are focused on that. We are focused on them coming home. They are thinking of the mission at hand. We wonder if it's all that crucial.

It is.

I don't want to be all preachy, but I know I can get that way. Forgive me.

Take this post for what you will. It is more of an out loud conversation with myself to reassure me that I can continue to live this life and that I can continue to support my spouse. Not only can I, but I will. I will because my husband signed on the dotted line and no one had to draft him. He chose this life (as did I when I married him). So many others have too. A lot of folks still take that for granted. They never contemplate what it would be like if no one made the choice. You and I know, the choice would be made for us. So, yes, my husband's job is important and temporary separations are just a small sacrifice that we family members can make to support that choice--to support our country.

The Coast Guard is not a walk in the park. It's not the "easy branch". It's not puddle piracy, or whatever else you may have heard. The Coast Guard is so much larger and means so much more than meets the eye. Those of you already living this life know and appreciate that. Think of that next time the tough days get the best of you or someone complains about a 8 week patrol. If I start complaining, shove this post in my face and give me the reminder too.