Perchance to dream, of orders

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To be living in paradise, on the coast of somewhere beautiful, on the shores walked by Hemingway and Truman, oh what a wondrous Coast Guard day that would be. No, we did not get orders to the locale pictured here, but oh how I desired to see that on our desired destination list.

Picturesque, isn't it? Can't you just see yourself jumping into the photo? Go ahead, sink your toes into that warm, soft, white sand. Feel the cool, breeze caress your cheek as you whisk a tendril of hair away from your glazed over eyes. (And, yes, I was there--no, I didn't want to leave.)



And, yes, Virginia, there is a Coast Guard unit there....in paradise. In fact, there are many options for which someone can dream.


There are neat nautical and maritime treasures you will see as you traipse about the town.

My friends, that is Key West.

I got a little ahead of myself last summer when the man in blue referenced Key West might be an option for his dream sheet. Seriously! Woah, I was jumping up and down inside at the possibility. I researched the heck out of the school system. The man and blue and I even planned a mini-vacation/second honeymoon (of sorts) to this amazing destination before dream sheet time. We knew it was going to be one of our top places. Everything appealed to us, not to mention we have friends down there and he has traveled there for work on numerous occasions.

Sadly, we never had the opportunity for a dreamsheet this year. Yes, we were due for a rotation. PCS 2010 is our year. Still, one fateful afternoon, the man in blue received an email. "Pick your cutter, before it picks you." This was before the shopping list was even out. Yay for impending advancement, but bummer for no chance to submit a dreamsheet this time around. And, no, Key West was not an option on that list the man in blue received.



dum da dum dummmmm dummmmmmmmmmmmm

sucker punch to the stomach

stop me if you have heard my lament before



Anyhow....fast forward six months since we first received word of the man in blue's actual duty station, I'm doing okay.


The coast to which we are headed is not somewhere I've ever lived. Sure, I've visited, but to experience 24/7 for a period of up to 3 years, well, that's going to be a tad bit different. On a positive note, the man in blue and I are heading out that way to check out the area soon. We are going to try and narrow down which area appeals to us most that is in reasonable commuting distance to his new unit. He is being great about it though and really letting me focus on what I want this time. After all, he'll be underway most of the time and it'll be me and the little ones living there mostly.



I'm focusing on the beach. That's right. I'm looking for a beach area with a relaxed atmosphere. The home does not have to be pristine or upscale, but I will need a place to focus on my writing. I'm getting back to the novel. That's right, I have to. I said 5 years ago I would write it. I stopped. I let life get the better of me. I forgot me and ran fast with the rat race. I'm committed to enjoying this next home of ours and the relaxation/semi-vacation/hiatus it will bring for me. And, yes, I will still be on the coast of somewhere beautiful chillin' with my Kenny Chesney music on more often than not. :)



~~~~~~~
For a true writer each book should be a new beginning where he tries again for something that is beyond attainment. He should always try for something that has never been done or that others have tried and failed. Then sometimes, with great luck, he will succeed.

- Ernest Hemingway (who called Key West his home)

There is nothing so sweet as a reunion between a parent and a child.

Patiently waiting with impatient children, I stood in the crowed and bustling airport the other night, surrounded by many other folks also awaiting the return of their loved ones. Finally, after what seemed an eternity to the kids, we saw the face of one of the man in blue's team walk in the hurried crowd. Focused on getting his attention, thinking my husband must be right behind him, the children and I stared and waved frantically. Of course, much to our surprise, the man in blue had already spotted us and was coming toward us from another direction. Well, when my children saw him, they could not get out of their own way fast enough.

Their faces lit up with brilliance and their feet moved jack rabbit fast. Pummeling him with their little selves, the children enveloped daddy with their welcoming arms. Of course, my younger daughter beat the other two to the punch and wrapped her arms and legs around him as if she had not seen him in a year. It was the best feeling in the world to know to watch this reunion, and I know my husband felt the same.

You see, my younger two children have not had the luxury of cutter deployments. So, they are not seasoned like my oldest daughter. She is pretty understanding of the routine, well as much as a kid can be. She knows that anything can happen and tries to go with the flow. She is a trooper for sure. Our younger children, however have only really known or at least are only old enough to remember the recent trips, which are, on average, shorter than stereotypical CG deployments. My younger daughter was born when my husband was assigned to his last cutter, but she was really too young to have any knowledge of what was going on. Now, though, she is fully aware and has expressed that daddy really should not have to leave. Period.

In a strange way, we know that these shorter trips are a blessing because the man in blue does not have to be gone long, but it also gives the kids a little taste of things yet to come (possibly). Who knows where we will end up next, but we are not ruling anything out.

So, he is home. I slept better the other night than I had the whole time he was gone. What is it about that? I know I am not the only one falling asleep with the television on and lying next to a really big pillow in hopes of providing a false sense of comfort. Of course, also waking periodically through the night (after FINALLY falling asleep) to check the phone, the cell phone and every other noise you hear. Oh, boy, am I glad to have him home.

It is more than that though. We have had such a nice time since he has returned. We even were able to take the kids to the beach yesterday for some fun family time, savoring the last big weekend of the summer. My favorite part of it all was just watching the kids splash in the waves with dad as I inhaled the salty air and felt the sunshine on my body knowing what a lucky woman I am and recognizing wonderful homecomings can be.

The ship is in.

And, soon my man in blue flies to it. So, soon I will be awaiting his plane to come in some time around next....ah, you thought I was going to divulge that information.

Last night we had the perfect date night. Nothing says happily wedded bliss like a gift card for a fine dinner and a trusted babysitter to watch over the young ones. Our dinner was an early one. Think senior citizen early. The restaurant was posh beyond my wildest expectations--very 1930's swanky. The menu prices did shock me, but again, we had the gift certificate, which is so very appreciated. After all, when you are making an effort to feed and clothe a family of five a night out is to dinner and a movie is often a luxury we do not afford ourselves. Over the past year though, we have been making more of an attempt to do so, to reconnect and have more us time away from the family setting at home. Heck, we do not really want to see ourselves as empty-nesters trying to remember what we liked about each other in the first place. So, preventative maintenance in the way of continuing to court each other, if you will, and canoodling as much as possible, is what we do. But, I digress.

So, dinner was divine. We laughed. I drank wine. It was superb. It was Shiraz by Peter Lehmann. Mmmmm. Filet Mignon was my entree, though it was not as perfect as I would have dreamed up, the atmosphere and my husband's company made the dinner more than I could have hoped for. Oh, and to top it off, I convinced him to share a decadent molten chocolate cake for dessert. To make things better, this was far from the end of our evening. We were able to do a little shopping (for the children of course) and to catch a movie. Truthfully, this one night makes his upcoming trip tolerable. We had such a blast.

Upon returning home, we vegged on the couch, and somehow one of the little ones managed to end up in my arms for a bit. Still, we just enjoyed being together, in our home. I talk a good game about actually enjoying the deployments and that the separation is good for us, but deep down, I do miss the man in blue. After all, home would not really be much of a home without him. He drives me batty, as I do him. We have our spats and we certainly do not love to do everything to other does, but we love each other. Sometimes it takes a deployment or some sort of trip to put all of that in perspective.

For the past 3+ years, we have had the luxury of being able to take each other for granted. Sure, he has traveled here and there, but technically he is at a land unit. We know the likelihood of him going back to a cutter is imminent. We are realistic. At one point, we thought he was going to be in a position to never have to get underway again. Not surprisingly, that change did not take place, but as things tend to change in this military life, it turned out to be alright. The possibilities we are now looking at for the future of my husband's career are promising. We are excited and anxious and just thrilled to be sharing this time together.

Now, I just have to go out and pick up a bottle of that lovely Shiraz to enjoy upon our reunion when his plane comes in. Or, if things get really wacky (as Murphy's Law often requires), I can start enjoying it before he gets home.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy day to all of our mom readers out there!

I remember my first mother's day. It was also the upon day upon which my first anniversary fell, ironically. My husband woke up that morning to leave for a C school states away. Of course, I was disappointed. In fact, I was downright angry. I knew the rules of the game, even early on in our marriage that he would have to leave now and again. It wasn't new to us or to me. Still, alone is not how I wanted to spend this very special day. Perhaps it was a little bit of postpartum hormones getting the best of me too.

The man in blue was bummed about our anniversary, but at the time categorized Mother's Day as just a Hallmark holiday, man-speak for I didn't get you anything, and I don't plan to. Seriously, he thought this. So, I spent the morning begging him to stay (even though I know he couldn't) and probably crying a lot. Out the door he went, and my newborn baby and I hopped in the car and drove to my mom's. I was lucky enough to live within a few hours of her, so that helped to ease the loneliness that came with my husband leaving on this particular day.

At any rate, fast forward to this morning. My man in blue is home this year. yippee! The family has grown and I know have three eager children bestowing me with cards and homemade gifts. My husband even gave me the most beautiful claddagh ring with an emerald set in it that he got from a port call in Colombia about 5 years ago. It's beautiful. Needless to say, my man has come around, and loves to surprise me, Hallmark holiday or not.

So, today we are home enjoying each other because we know that next year may bring a different scenario. He could be home, he could be away, only time will tell. Whatever the case may be, I think I've grown a bit and the water works may not be as bad if he were to be gone again. Still, I suppose we each deserve to succumb to the sadness a little bit on occasions like these. We just don't have to let it consume us.

To all of you mother's out there, I hope you have a special day whatever you may be doing and whomever you may be spending it with!

A Reader Shares Thanks - Common perspectives

Recently we received a very nice note from one of our newer blog readers. She “wanted to send a quick note of thanks for [the blog]”. Her message touched on how sometimes it’s difficult to deal with the strain the CG life can put on a relationship. I think we’ve all been there at one point or another. I know that for me personally it was more difficult when I didn’t have a strong support group. And, by support group, I mean a bunch of fellow military wives/girlfriends that I could kvetch with about a sour day or with whom I could share news of a looming advancement. They just got it and got me.

Our reader also discussed how she was never exposed to a military lifestyle before and that “[i]t's definitely an adjustment." She said, "This blog has helped me see the positives in being a Coastie wife/girlfriend and (try to) stay flexible.” Isn’t it nice to know you are not alone? I think we all seek that kind of feeling in our lives.

At times, I feel a bit guilty for being able to cope (most of the time). You see having been in the military I was already forced to accept that you there is always a hurry up and wait situation and how flexibility is not an option but rather more of a requirement. If you aren’t flexible, you just might break. And, really, who wants that? Brittle pieces of you scattered all over the map just is not ideal, and it makes a big mess. Perhaps that is why I hear so much about lubrication. Yes, that must be it! The reference must be in regard to lubrication of joints, ligaments and tendons, to ensure that we are pliable and maintain our elasticity.

So, dear reader, even though you mentioned how “it's not [your] first nature for [you] to be flexible” you did say you were trying and that’s what really matters. We get that. It is not easy. I think there is a saying that goes something like Anything that’s worth doing, isn’t always easy. Isn’t that the truth?

I will share with you something a bit comical. Our reader touched upon how it is “hard to stay positive all the time when plans get cancelled or put off because of a last minute deployment”. It is the nature of the beast, but that doesn’t mean it is always that with which we want to deal. Anyway, my father-in-law was planning on a visit. My husband told him he may be sent on orders somewhere, but that he was basically in a standby to standby position. Exasperated, his father (who is an Army vet mind you) actually asked, “Why can’t they give you an answer? Don’t they realize people have lives? How can anyone make plans?” To this the man in blue replied, “Easy, I make plans and if I have to cancel, I just cancel.” That is it. He was just matter-of-fact about it. I will say that not everyone has this attitude. It has taken us awhile to learn to roll with the punches. We chose this life, and we try to remember that when we get frustrated and irritated with how things can go. After all, we know there is not some guy or gal in an Ivory Tower handing down orders to screw up someone’s weekend or holiday plans. It is not personal. It is simply part of this life. (Of course, that doesn’t mean we eagerly accept everything with a happy face; we are human and sometimes our emotions come through in a not-so-pleasant way.)

Just hang in there. It sounds like you are doing your best to support your loved one and applaud his efforts. We hope you keep coming back and even post some comments. We would love to hear from you. And, if I may add one pun (bad as it may be), remember, we are all in this boat together.

Loving a sailor, making decisions.

We are looking at options; options for the future.

So there is a possibility that if you go this route, you may never get underway….again? I asked.

Well, possibly, says he.

I mull this over. On the surface that sounds spectacular and many a wife would gladly hear those words. Still, I know, in my heart, that he loves being at sea. When we started dating, I will admit, I fell in love with the romantic notion that he’d go out to sea, and I’d wait lovingly until he returned. It wasn't forever, I told myself, and always been an independent woman. I could do this. I would do this. I’ve been doing this.

I knew from our first date that I wanted to spend eternity with this man. I felt like Brandy, watching his eyes and listening to his stories of riding the ocean waves. I could feel the power of the storms and smell the salt of the water. While I knew he’d always be in my heart, I knew also that he had a passion for the great deep blue. I never thought he’d choose it over me, but I know he has always been drawn to it, and I respect that. In turns he respects me and always discusses a new billet with me before jumping in head first (that’s if he has a choice). In a way, I think it’s his way of reassuring himself that I’m okay with this life. I’m sure he struggles with it. Who wouldn’t? You love being at sea, but you love your family waiting at home too.

So, what’s a girl to say? A teeny tiny part of me wants to say “Yes, stay ashore. Be home to watch the kids grow.” Still, I’m a believe in allowing him to make his own career decisions (without too much nagging from me). We talk about the family first. Obviously, with children and school and housing matters, family often throws a wrench in the mix. Still, after we talk about ideal places for our family. I let him go from there. I can work almost anywhere so that doesn't concern me. So, I encourage him to think about his career advancement and getting the most out of educational and training opportunities. I want him to look back on his Coast Guard years and feel satisfied.

Why is this so important to me? Well, I'm glad you asked. When I was in the service, I didn’t take advantage of a few opportunities that came my way. I felt I was young and had all the time in the world. In addition, I never envisioned getting out as soon as I did. I had my goals set on a 20 year career, at least. So, I have a few regrets. I wish I had taken that overseas tour. I wish I had gone to that school in D.C. I should have completed my Bachelors when I was still active. I could go on and on. Still, I did get to experience a lot of great things and establish some solid connections, and for that I’m grateful that I wasn’t a complete dunce.

Back on topic though, I don’t want my husband to look back with remorse over things in the years to come. So, what do you say to your husband when he’s asking you about no more sea duty? Well, I told him, I support whatever decision you make. Either way, the future looks pretty bright, no matter what route he chooses. I just wish I had a crystal ball to show me what the ultimate decision will be. Until then, I’ll hand over the looking glass for him to have a tête à tête about which road to travel.

Look: I'm Green and Bendy.

Image as Presented by Elainilee

Bet you didn't know I could perform contortionist feats.

I usually tout the important of being flexible, but lately, I'm a little anti-gumby. We are on extension number 3 for something. "Grrrr" and "ugh" are some of my favorite words as of late. In fact, I think my children don't actually believe me that daddy is ever coming home because the date keeps changing. Yes, I know, bad, bad mom. I don't normally ever clue them in to a return date. That way, they don't get disappointed. Still, what was supposed to be a very short trip has turned into something else. Even the man in blue himself was surprised.

I apologize for the short post. I'm off to throw on my Super Coastie Wife cape and distract my brain and the children for the day. Wish me luck and please channel some energy that the tides will turn and things will fall into place.

Really, there's no reason he HAS to be home soon. I just miss him right now. Plain and simple.

Hey, at least I look good in green. ;)