Happy Mother's Day!

Happy day to all of our mom readers out there!

I remember my first mother's day. It was also the upon day upon which my first anniversary fell, ironically. My husband woke up that morning to leave for a C school states away. Of course, I was disappointed. In fact, I was downright angry. I knew the rules of the game, even early on in our marriage that he would have to leave now and again. It wasn't new to us or to me. Still, alone is not how I wanted to spend this very special day. Perhaps it was a little bit of postpartum hormones getting the best of me too.

The man in blue was bummed about our anniversary, but at the time categorized Mother's Day as just a Hallmark holiday, man-speak for I didn't get you anything, and I don't plan to. Seriously, he thought this. So, I spent the morning begging him to stay (even though I know he couldn't) and probably crying a lot. Out the door he went, and my newborn baby and I hopped in the car and drove to my mom's. I was lucky enough to live within a few hours of her, so that helped to ease the loneliness that came with my husband leaving on this particular day.

At any rate, fast forward to this morning. My man in blue is home this year. yippee! The family has grown and I know have three eager children bestowing me with cards and homemade gifts. My husband even gave me the most beautiful claddagh ring with an emerald set in it that he got from a port call in Colombia about 5 years ago. It's beautiful. Needless to say, my man has come around, and loves to surprise me, Hallmark holiday or not.

So, today we are home enjoying each other because we know that next year may bring a different scenario. He could be home, he could be away, only time will tell. Whatever the case may be, I think I've grown a bit and the water works may not be as bad if he were to be gone again. Still, I suppose we each deserve to succumb to the sadness a little bit on occasions like these. We just don't have to let it consume us.

To all of you mother's out there, I hope you have a special day whatever you may be doing and whomever you may be spending it with!

Loving a sailor, making decisions.

We are looking at options; options for the future.

So there is a possibility that if you go this route, you may never get underway….again? I asked.

Well, possibly, says he.

I mull this over. On the surface that sounds spectacular and many a wife would gladly hear those words. Still, I know, in my heart, that he loves being at sea. When we started dating, I will admit, I fell in love with the romantic notion that he’d go out to sea, and I’d wait lovingly until he returned. It wasn't forever, I told myself, and always been an independent woman. I could do this. I would do this. I’ve been doing this.

I knew from our first date that I wanted to spend eternity with this man. I felt like Brandy, watching his eyes and listening to his stories of riding the ocean waves. I could feel the power of the storms and smell the salt of the water. While I knew he’d always be in my heart, I knew also that he had a passion for the great deep blue. I never thought he’d choose it over me, but I know he has always been drawn to it, and I respect that. In turns he respects me and always discusses a new billet with me before jumping in head first (that’s if he has a choice). In a way, I think it’s his way of reassuring himself that I’m okay with this life. I’m sure he struggles with it. Who wouldn’t? You love being at sea, but you love your family waiting at home too.

So, what’s a girl to say? A teeny tiny part of me wants to say “Yes, stay ashore. Be home to watch the kids grow.” Still, I’m a believe in allowing him to make his own career decisions (without too much nagging from me). We talk about the family first. Obviously, with children and school and housing matters, family often throws a wrench in the mix. Still, after we talk about ideal places for our family. I let him go from there. I can work almost anywhere so that doesn't concern me. So, I encourage him to think about his career advancement and getting the most out of educational and training opportunities. I want him to look back on his Coast Guard years and feel satisfied.

Why is this so important to me? Well, I'm glad you asked. When I was in the service, I didn’t take advantage of a few opportunities that came my way. I felt I was young and had all the time in the world. In addition, I never envisioned getting out as soon as I did. I had my goals set on a 20 year career, at least. So, I have a few regrets. I wish I had taken that overseas tour. I wish I had gone to that school in D.C. I should have completed my Bachelors when I was still active. I could go on and on. Still, I did get to experience a lot of great things and establish some solid connections, and for that I’m grateful that I wasn’t a complete dunce.

Back on topic though, I don’t want my husband to look back with remorse over things in the years to come. So, what do you say to your husband when he’s asking you about no more sea duty? Well, I told him, I support whatever decision you make. Either way, the future looks pretty bright, no matter what route he chooses. I just wish I had a crystal ball to show me what the ultimate decision will be. Until then, I’ll hand over the looking glass for him to have a tête à tête about which road to travel.

PHOTO CONTEST - PART II; Theme: HOMECOMINGS

Theme: HOMECOMINGS


Do you have the ideal shot of a couple reuniting after a deployment? Does your photo of a couple on the pier with locked lips rival the famous V-J Day Times Square Kiss shot (you know the one)? Perhaps it’s a little girl running to her daddy or mom after he/she steps into view in the hangar. The possibilities are endless.



The couple in this photo was taken for the Boston Globe and submitted by our very own "The Flying Fish". She and her husband are reuniting her following his work with Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Thanks for sharing this photo with us.
Photo by Boston Globe (2005)

Requirements:

1) It has to do with a military homecoming;
2) It has to have people visible in the shot; and,
3) It has to have been taken by you in the past five (5) years.
4) The size of the photo should be a minimum of 640x480 pixels, if possible.

Submit photos in jpeg format to justagirlinaport@gmail.com no later than June 5th. Voting will commence June 7th. Only one photo submission per person please.

Questions? Let us know.

Good luck!

Just a Girl In a Port

That’s me--well, sort of. I’m the girl that stole a sailor’s heart. More than that, I’m the girl he proposed to and married. He was out drinking with some friends the evening we met. Astonishing, isn’t it? Well, as luck would have it, I happened upon that same venue. Notice how it changed to a venue.

There was some science that brought us together. Perhaps it wasn’t science, but rather just meddling mutual friends who wanted to bring us two crazy kids together. Well, we met. We smiled. We agreed to keep in touch, and he gave me his number (leaving the ball in my court). Fast forward two weeks, I had just returned home from a spur-of-the-moment solo vacation to San Diego (ah, those were the days). I decided to give him a call and see what he was doing the next weekend.

He answers his cell and the background is abuzz with music and voices. It turned out he was having some drinks with some old shipmates that just pulled into port. He apologizes, takes my number and says he’ll call me back the following day. He did and we talked on the phone for hours—literally. It was all very sweet, new relationship kind of chat. Our first date was to be that weekend. The afternoon before our first date, he sent me a single red rose at work. Cliché? I didn’t care. I was smitten at this gesture, and I will always remember this fondly.

Flo’s post about her boyfriend’s homecoming reminded me of this. It’s the littlest moments of happiness that can give you strength in riding out the ebbs and flows of being a military spouse.